I am a jolly good fellow!!

They say ... When you are happy and you want to show it clap your hands. But the song does not tell you "how" to be happy. Feeling good about yourself can be a way. Well! While I was sitting in my office uselessly killing time ( because i was more than efficient today and completed everything before time) I was reminded of incidents when I was made to feel good about myself. Honestly, there aren't many incidents. But then if i really jog my memory, I can come up with a few incidents. Here are some:

1) Paper presentation at All Saints: In the fourth or fifth semester (I suppose) when there was a paper presentation contest. My partner ditched me on the last days (said she was ill) and i had to give the whole presentation alone. I had no problems as such. There was one slight glitch. There would be no one to change the slides while I spoke. But the technical assistant there (or he was some volunteer) changed the slides for me and after the initial nervousness I was doing well. Quite well. I thought so for myself. And then the praises started coming in. People I knew. People I didnt know.Everyone said "I was fantastic". Spoke with confidence. 'was unbelievably good and most importantly "brave" to have had the guts to have gone up there without my partner. Although I didnot see this as an issue at all. Students claiming that i should have won the first prize. Although I won none. But the applause and the praises were the biggest awards i could ask for. I felt really really happy that day!

2) 12th Std Though for the day -- I always had a favorite story of a little girl who managed to get an operation on her sick younger brother when she goes to buy a "miracle" from a medical shop. When I was asked to say the thought for the day for the morning player in 12th Std -- this seemed to be a perfect story and so I narrated it to the whole school. Turned out quite well. Teachers and students alike loved it and I was elated. While I remember this, I also remember that in some class, I was the only one congratulated by sister principle to have given a wonderful thought for the day after soo long. Loved the surprise!!

3) Satyam Selection: When we found out that Satyam was recruiting from our college, I knew just one thing. I could not let my self down because i was attending a very costly coaching for MBA on those days. "I cannot let myself down in front of everyone" not "I have to get selected" and so i went. I gave the written and when mom asked" what do u feel, how have you done?" i had no answer. I was selected in written and went ahead to give the GD and finally interview. After the interview i though it was over. But i was so wrong. It was far from over. It had just began. I was selected. That day i knew what it was when people said "I was numb" because thats what I was. numb. I came to know about the news at a friends place. I called up my mom from their and when i wen went home all i said was "naukri lag gayi" touched my mom's feet and went to sleep. I think I realized the magnitude of selection ( however small it seems now) when i went to college the next day. We were stars.As soon as i entered the college bus, everyone started clapping unexpectedly. Only 4 people got selected and i was one of them. I had never achieved something so big in my life! But you know what was the best thing i did those days? Reminded myself to be grounded ... whatever happens .. I knew I had to stay grounded. Probably the fact that I had a paper back helped me to not fly in pride.

Compliments for a good dish or when i look good also makes me feel good. Thats when i feel : I am a jolly good fellow :)

Decoding love ...

Here I go again ranting about love ... the power that makes the world go round. The feeling that make hearts melt.. that makes you happy without a reason. I sometimes wonder, if love was personified to be in a human form, how beautiful would it be. But then why does it not bring happiness always always? Maybe because what we feel is love and we grow sad , angry ,jealous because of being in love ... that feeling is probably not love at all. Its adamancy, ego, selfishness. So that means if i claim to be in love and all that i felt was anger, jealous, lost then maybe it was not love at all. Maybe it was attraction, infatuation, crush or probably love but in a very nascent level. Maybe, love takes time to grow and the person grows along with it. I had heard people say that if you really love someone, you will be happy in his/her happiness. I read a quote somewhere when said that a little jealousy in a relationship is good. It feels good to know that someone is afraid of loosing you. However beautiful it might sound, love does not bring insecurities. If she loves you , she will never leave you for even the most handsomest, bestest man in the world. You will accept them with all their imperfections and flaws. It requires a lot of growing up to do to get that level of selflessness and maturity. And as i said you grow with love and love grows with you. Maybe thats why it is also said that when you love someone, you set him free. If he loves you, he will come back.
Love is only beautiful. If you see it turning ugly, understand that the "feeling" still needs time to be called love.
May there be lots of love in the world. :)

Random thoughts once again ...

Oh well it did not work . The concealing of dark circles. It did not work. I ended up looking like what i did in neha's marriage (a few steps down from that day's ghoulish make up ofcourse!!) But oh! Even MAC could not make me look good .I mean either i was again not made up properly (I am that bad) or MAC is not as good as people say. Ya well ...whatever! Thank God i did not buy anything. Back to natural remedies and exercises. Drinking lots of water and things like that.
I start gym today and i hope i remain fit. It is kind of cool (and uncool at the same time) that i am going to join the gym in office. Cool because i don't have to shell out big bucks from my pocket and uncool because ...office gym???? who goes there?????? People go to those cool, swanky, expensive gyms. I did too when i was not supposed to take away 50k from my bank account unlike this time. But lets see how it goes ... IBM ki gym hai yaar ..local chaap to nahi hogi.
Yesterday, while uselessly surfing the net, i came across a blogger. Rain boy, raindrops something like that ... Good blogger he was. He had written poems and was all sensitive and stuff. And i felt like "when these people see my blogs, do they laugh it off??" because i am never sensitive and sensible. I write about whatever i am feeling at that moment or amalgamation of whatever i felt earlier. Its majorly funny or stupid. not artistic. But would i change my writing style for that? Maybe not .. I will write sensitive and sensible and artistic when i fell all of the above. Till then my blogs would be stupid, silly, funny and kiddish .. just what i am.

The Dark World Of Under Eye Circles

I have had them since i dont know how long. I started getting conscious about them in my first year of college i suppose and as i grew older, my dark circles have been the biggest disgrace on my face in addition to my slanting nose. I spent almost 20-30 k on my kaya treatment on them and got no change. I have searched the net , digged deeper and deeper into the web world to find out one magical solution for the plague on my face. All the web pages begin with how the dark circles are actually formed and it seems whatever i may do, i have almost all reasons for having them on me.
1) Hereditary : seems like i not only took my good english speaking skills from my mom, i also inherited her dark circles and so did my sister. When i asked my mom, she told me that my grand mom had them too and who knows maybe her mom had them too .... so it runs big time in the family. The websites do quote that hereditary dark circles are impossible to remove. So i lost half the battle there.

2) Late nights: Now this, I got from my father. I cannot sleep early. I really cant. Late nights come naturally to me and i cannot even bring myself to try and make an effort to sleep early.

3) Nasal Congestion: Well!! I am known for having a cold everytime in any season of the year. My mom says that when she was preggers with me, she used to have a lot of tomatoes because that was the only thing she felt like eating and she stopped only when ppl warned her that it can affect the health of the baby (Me that is). I suppose the warning came very late and by the time my mom stopped having tomatoes, the damage had already been done. But i don't think that tomatoes are responsible for an overdose of mucus in my body. But doctors tell me that i am allergic to something. i wish i knew what that bloddy thing is so that i can throw it away far far across the worlds! so any kind of allergy becomes a reason for dark cirlces as well and that is my next point.

4) Allergies: As i said i have this too from some unknown thing.

5) Rubbing of eyes: Allergies also cause my rubbing of eyes and hence breaking the capillary tubes underneath the eyes , causing stoppage of blood circulation and things like that. off late i have tried not to give in to the temptation of rubbing my eyes. It is one hell of a difficult task. for a few mins i feel like go to hel, i have to rub rub rub my eyes but then when those painful actually itchy moments pass away, i feel "worth it". But i dont know how long will i be able to do it.

I know i should be very regularly trying some gharelu nuskhas but i am so lazy and so pessimistic that t never give it a try. I try for a few days and then give up because they naturally dont work within a week or so. Hence, I remain the same. However, I do plan to go regular on these tips because they may not make them go away but they may surely fade them. Aloe vera gel did that to me!

I avoided wearing makeup because of two reasons. Firstly i never really thought it was important and i never cared about my looks (earlier) Secondly i thought that i cannot wear make up because my dark circles would make me look all the more ghastly. My sister had suggested using a concealer but i must have been trying a wrong one maybe. Considering i was trying her concealer and since she has a darker skin tone than me, it would never work. I would look silly and even more weird. Yesterday, i searches you tube like crazy on ways to conceal these things and firstly felt good that i am not alone. There was one girl who had dark circles just like mine!!!! but then otherwise she was very beautiful. Anyway, i do have a few tips in my hand now and today, i am going to buy the stuff and try it.
I very very sincerely pray to God that it works because i dont want them anymore!!

From me to you ...

In some of my previous blog, I talked about how music is linked with our daily lives. I was listening to one of the latest songs a few days ago and i was struck by the lyrics. The first thought that came to my mind was ,how sweet would it be if some one would say these things to me. Yes ..yes .. I am still foolishly romantic. (Sigh!!) Then came the list!! And so here is the list of five songs i would want someone to dedicate to me. Yes I am being selfish and sometime later i promise i will think anout what songs i should dedicate to "him" but as of now this is my part of the story.

1) Tumse he Tumse har baat from Anjaana Anjaani.

This song starts with Ranbir realizing that he is in love with Priyanka. I totally loooooved the way he looks at her. But more than the situation of the songs notice the lyrics :
ab se koi khushi nahi
jiski tum wajah nahi
ab se koi din nahi
jiski tum subah nahi
ab se koi baat nahi
jo tumse na hogi shuru
ab se koi raah nahi
jo tum sang mein na mudhoon
abhi ke bhi yeh ho gaya ykeen
yeh zindagi meri ho gayee teri
tumse hi tumse har baat
har baat hai
jab tum ho saath
tumse hi tumse har baat
har baat hai
jab tum ho saath

It talks about how the much he is going to love her and how much she is going to be involved in his life. Sweet. right? and this is the very song i was talking about in the beginning of the blog.

2) Next song I have already posted on this site. "Jab mila tu". Its lyrics talk about how fun it is going to be being together.

Khaali jo raat ho, main khwabon chaand taaron se woh poori bar doon
Teri jo baat ho, main bin kahe hi aadhi pauni poori kar doon
Jo aadhe se hum hain, woh poore ho tumse
Na jaane yeh sauda bhi kab tay huya
Adhoore se kisse, barabar ke hisse
Tu dil to main dua

I especially love the line "Teri jo baat ho, main bin kahe hi aadhi pauni poori kar doon". Thats how deeply we will know each other that.

3) The third song is all the more special because John has sung it on screen. It is from Babul. "Bebasi dard ka alam". This song has now been forgotten by the world but it has beautiful lyrics and moreover beautiful promises.

Bheegi palkon se churaa loonga nami
Rehne doonga na kahin koi kami
Tumko daaman na bheego ne doonga
Ab kabhi tumko na rone doonga
Uljhane gham ki parchhaayi
De do mujhe apni tanhaayi
Gumnaamiyan bhi do, nakaamiyan bhi do
Viraaniyan bhi de do de do naa

The lyrics say it all and i dont need to say anything further other than "God!! Mujhe ye sab bolne wala kab aayega???"

4) Yes i know i am not beautiful. I see that everyday in the mirror. So probably somebody who will dedicate the next song to me would be a fool (or foolishly in love ) and i would not believe it. But somehow i still would want him to say this to me.

Oh her eyes, her eyes
Make the stars look like they're not shining
Her hair, her hair
Falls perfectly without her trying
She's so beautiful
And I tell her every day
Yeah I know, I know
When I compliment her
She wont believe me
And its so, its so
Sad to think she don't see what I see
But every time she asks me do I look okay
I say
When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

5) The fifth song .. I am not really sure. There were basically these 4 songs in my mind when i started writing this piece. But since I have to make it a top five list maybe "jab koi baat bigad jaye" I have loved this song since i dont remember how long and it talks about the promises a couple make to each other.

Till then as i said earlier ... May there be abundance of love in this world :)

PDA Debate

Okayyyy!! Its is children's day today. But we are not here to talk about them. what are we here to talk about? Actually I have no idea. I was getting dead bored in office and right now i am writing without thinking.

Alright. Here is an incident which i wanted to write about. Nothing to do with me. It was just a normal day when i was cooking stuffed capsicums for my roommates. The onions were extremely strong and a single cut through them brought tears to my eyes. Engrossed while i was in my onions, tears and mucus , i saw car lights stopping in front of my PG. Expecting it to be Vibha, i looked up and saw a couple getting out. Now i should not have seen them but by the time i could process this fact and get my manners straight, there they were hugging and kissing each other ... right in the middle of quite a decently busy road. Now should I have uff-ed and hau-ed about the whole incident? Should i have gone and told (read gossiped) about them with my friends? Honestly, my first reaction was ummmm ........ ok .... actually sweet!
The cumbersome recipe of stuffed capsicums made me forget about the whole incident and somehow i did not really feel the need to gossip about it to anybody. They were strangers whose faces i could not even see and secondly i am no moral science teacher. But had i talked about this to anyone i am sure the first point which would have been raise would be "how cheap! or why don't they do this behind close doors" .
Point taken. But ...i know it looks cheap when you are a third person looking .. but for the couple they are in love. For them probably the world does not exist.
Of course there has to be a decorum. Maybe the couple outside my window could have played it down a notch. Maybe a peck on the cheek or kiss on the forehead would have been sweet. But then i am nobody at all to tell people how should they behave.
Somehow i am not in total disagreement with PDA if as i said it is in standards and decorum.
May there be lots of love in the world .. :)

You know You are in love when

Varsha's top 5 list of "falling in love" symptoms :

1) When while you go for shopping, you go to men's section (when you are a girl) to check out the latest trends in men's fashion and mind you ... You previously never cared about what was being sold in there! You may also look at a mannequin wearing a particular shirt and think of how is it going to look on "Him"

2) You think about what would "he" say in every situation when he is not around (ofcoure) or you probably bore your friends to death by narrating them similar incidents of "and then he said ..."

3) out of 30 thoughts, he occupies 26 of them.

4) When his opinion matters big time. Say you go out with a group of 6 people (two of you included) 4 ppl tell you that the dress you want is bad and only one person tells you it is great and looks great on you ..and you buy that dress! You are not only getting yourself in trouble (by falling in love!) but you also give those 4 people a juicy and solid reason to raise their eyebrows!

5) When his likes and dislikes become your likes and dislikes .... remember when Deepika Padukone drinks black tea in love aaj kal??? Its like that ....and its HUGE trouble!!

They are making "Two States" in a movie -- yayyy!!!

They are making "Two States" in a movie!! I wanted it to become one! I hope whenever this movie comes out , it is a fun film to watch. When I read Vikas Swaroop's Q&A, i KNEW that someday a movie would be made out of it. What i didnt know however was that it would be made in hollywood (Slumdog Millionaire). Talk about taking a correct guess! I remember talking to Vrush after reading Q&A which was by the way long before the movie was made , this is the description i gave her was "badi bollywood-ish si book hai" HA! How do u say!! So here is Varsha's list of ideas and books which can be made into a movie ( trust me guys! I have read quite a lot of books to make an error judgement in this topic!!)
1) How to keep a secret ( can be pretty funny. This is probably not bollywood's cup of tea. Hollywood can do a good job on this.
2) Zoya factor ( story of Zoya who is born while Kapil Dev is picking up the world cup trophy, and some how becomes a good luck charm for cricket. The last bits would need huge improvisation but other than that ...can be made into a fun film)
3) They can convert Sarabhai vs Sarabhai in a movie like they made khicdi!
4) The gift by ceclila Ahren
5) If you could see me now (same author ..both movies .. bollywood ..pls dont try! Hollywood ...take it away!!)


So here it is ..top 5 stories waiting to be told on screen!

Will be giving out more top fives or more lists of various other things!

The grey cell factory workers would need a little shaking up on that!!

Dont Worry About Me -- Break Ke Baad!

Don't worry about me, I'll be fine
I'll make my bed and take my pills on time
And when I see somebody on the street
I make sure I say Hello, I say Hello
Don't worry about me, I'll be good
And I'll do all the things you said that I should
And when I see somebody on the street
I make sure that I smile (though I can't stand them)
Get through to me, get through to me, get through to me
They will never know
They will never see
They will never get through to me, get through to me, get through to me

Don't worry about me, I'll be OK
I'll be the ?cryer what they want me to say
Just in my himself in the corner zealing so
Thinking of you
Don't worry about me, I'll be allright
It's just that haven't slept for 64 nights
Coz sleep won't come without your arms wrapped around my soul
Get through to me, get through to me, get through to me
They will never know
They will never see
They will never get through to me, get through to me, get through to me

It's not that I got something to hide
It's just that, just that I got nothing inside
It feels like, feels like above the my ?ceeling wearing out
And I'm stuck in dark without you

No, I know I said that I won't even cry
But, but you gone so I see don't why
I shouldn't be spending every single day girl up on my floor
Thats my soul
Yeah I know there'll be times when we'll meet
Get a cup of tea or maybe pass on the streets
And everytime you look into my eyes you'll se I'm living there
(just fakin it)
They will never know
They will never see
They will never get through to me, get through to me, get through to me
They will never know
They will never see
Coz you are the only one, only one I ever knew

Where is the magic ?

There are a lots of things in my mind. First , the winter shopping begins. I remember how disastrous my last winter has been. Health and Fashion wise. So here is my plan. Health -- I resume my exercise as soon as i am done with my classes which should be over pretty soon now. Fashion -- now this needs attention! Last year was one very good borrowed Lerro's black jacket. Just one jacket. One pair of jeans (Black tapering) and one pair of blue Converse canvas shoes. This was my winter uniform, all day.. everyday. I hated last year's winter and i wanted it to get over soon. Now, they are going to be here again and i donot want to repeat last year's mistake. Talking about past years, in retrospect, the year last to that was also not really cool. I ended up buying some silly sweaters from tibetan market,which if i now see, seem really tacky and down market. So they are going out of my wardrobe and welcome the new members. So far, one ultra sexy marks and spencer top, one levi's red jacket, and one levi's pink pullover. Extremely satisfying. Next in line are some monte carlo pullovers, mufflers, winter caps maybe and anything and everything which is going to look good AND keep me warm.
I kept telling everybody yesterday that what a cheapster i am. I went to this amazing shop called Giovani, grabbed some really sexy looking evening wears, tried all, took my pictures and left them. I know it sounds so bad, but the feeling of wearing those dresses and looking at yourself was just so perky! I did not look at anybody while leaving the showroom, because they may have that "what a cheap girl" look on their face and i didnt want to see that. But i have those pics and i think those dresses were looking really good. I think i am good at selecting evening wears and would certainly find an amazing one for me when faced with a chance.
Thirdly, yesterday, a new story started in my life. Now i want to get over with it before it forms a noticable form for itself. I know i have to get married and all that bt somehow it feels very scary. I mean ...yes we are told that no prince charming is going to come but why do i still want to believe in them? I know they say it really doesn't happen that way but i want that it does for me. I want the fairy tale and i want the magic. Universe, if you are listening, manifest it for me please!! I want to feel that intution, you know, like that poshto girl says in anjaana anjaani "jab ander se kuch sahi lagta hai ..." I want to feel that. That tarot card lady said that i am intutive. I dont remember using my intuition effectively, but this time, i will be needing them.
Dear God, waiting for the magic ...

Love is…

Love is…
Love is feeling cold in the back of vans
Love is a fanclub with only two fans
Love is walking holding paintstained hands
Love is.
Love is fish and chips on winter nights
Love is blankets full of strange delights
Love is when you don’t put out the light
Love is
Love is the presents in Christmas shops
Love is when you’re feeling Top of the Pops
Love is what happens when the music stops
Love is
Love is white panties lying all forlorn
Love is pink nightdresses still slightly warm
Love is when you have to leave at dawn
Love is
Love is you and love is me
Love is prison and love is free
Love’s what’s there when you are away from me
Love is…

Har ghar chup chaap se ye kehta hai ...

Har ghar chup chaap se ye kehta hai
ki ander isme kaun rehta hai .....

Hai to ye nerolac ka add. But here I would like to take it in another concept...
Seen those historical monuments? I always have this thought .. What if these buildings could speak? What all could they tell? They would have been like those grand dads and grand moms who would tell their stories. Compare new and old times. It would have been so cool! I mean there would have been no misconceptions. History, which is so full of guesses, would have been so correct. They could have told about the kings and queens, their habits, their stories, their secrets.. so much. I wonder if they could voice their worries. Would they have told us that they want us to stop the pollution because that is deteroiting them. If Taj Mahal could have talked, it would have told us if it is actually a mughal architecture or a Shiv Temple as they say. The forts would tell us the stories of how it would be during the wars. How the heroic soldiers would fight and protect the common man. Oh it would have been so wonderful to know the real tales of Rani Laxmi Bai, of Bhagat Singh, Akhbar Badshah ... the real heroes.
When I visit any kind of old monument or heritage buildings, I try to listen to it. I try to hear the silences. Imagine the people, the way they would walk , talk, eat.. the floors i am standing on? some 300 yrs ago, people from that age walked on it. .. was that a light carefree walk or heavy, weighed down by responsibilities trudges? Those walls ... they touched it .... What were their worries? These walls would have witnessed smiles, tears, anger, betrayal, conspiracies ... Oh .. what all do these walls know? What secrets are buried within? I try to feel the air... the unfulfilled wishes hanging around. I enjoy the eerie feeling i get when i am near these old buildings.
Superficially, they stand their silently. I hope whatever we know about them .. we have heard them correctly.

I Met John Abraham on 1/10/2010

I hope to keep this blog forever. I will be reading these posts 5,10,15 yrs down and remember with a smile "this is what i was thinking, i wrote this when this happened or that happened" Probably i will show it to my kids and tell them that i was a cool young girl in "my time" and i did manage to have some of my own clinchers. Like yesterday. Yesterday 1st of Oct 2010 was one hell of a clincher day. I saw John Abrahm on this day. I mean truly speaking, i am no silly girl jumping around to met every little star. But it was different with John. I mean i have loved him since ...i dnt remember when. Probably when he cut his hair. Because i remember at one point i used to so hate him and look down upon him as a b grade actor who would do only silly movies which were full of crap. But then my perspective changed big time and then came a time when i was crrraaazzzyyyy about him. And then ...yesterday ... I saw him. He was standing, talking (although i could not hear his voice...silly thick gym glasses), waving, exercising and everything.
And i know why i saw him. I know why i was exactly at the right place at the right time. The law of attraction was big time at work. I had been giving John vibrations to the universe and I got them back!! Yes kids, LOA is reallyy cool! There have been a few small examples in the past where LOA worked. Alright, it was not a meeting of sorts and i just saw him and actually didnt even hear him but thats ok. Really! I may meet him again someday and talk one to one and tell him that i have been around him earlier and then we can be friends and all that. But i am cool as of now.
And if the universe has given me a chance to see john, i am sure my other wishes would be granted too. I WILL have an amazing, fruitful job with great package, I WILL meet someone who will love me and we will be crazy for each other and we will have a fantastic life ( Yes children, I met your dad because i truly believed that the universe will grant my wish. ) and then we will go on world tours, we will go on bike excursions and we will visit disney land during christmas. oh and ofcourse I WILL have my orphanage . oops no ... WE will have our orphanage.
Referring to my previous post ...something about wishes... one wish was to make best friends with John. Lets say, i have an incident to break the ice for future references.
I am sooooooooooooo thankful to the universe for yesterday. I am also thankful for all the wonderful moments which are going to come in my life and for a wonderful life itself. Thank You!! Thank You!! Thank You!!

Old Vs. New

There has always been an age old fight over old vs new. Old clothes vs new clothes, old movies vs new movies, old music vs new music .. everything. Now I donot want to be a traitor of my generation and i have to admit that the "today" generation has come up with really great movies and music. Infact i always run out of patience when i try to watch a black and white movie or those 60s , 70s era movie. I mean , the melodrama was not easy to digest. There were many things in the old movies which were not easy to digest. But you know what, there was something about the bygone era which was beautiful... which is heavily amiss today. Today, a song is shot glamorously, in a breathtakingly beautiful locale, grandeur is absolutely personified on the 70 mm screen . But have you realised that sometimes the simplicity is so soothing? Ok .. it will sound a little silly when i write it here .. the hero would stand in one corner, the heroine in another corner, and they would pour their hearts out to each other through their songs. There was a beauty to it. There was no touching but there were all expressions and still it would convey so much. Now I am not being an 85 year old anti touching, anti sex hypocrite here.:) I am trying to write what goes in my mind when i watch these old songs.
Infact, If you search on Youtube for aaiye Meherbaan, MAdhubala looks amazingly beautiful while being a seductress. See the difference?? I mean , even if i am using the word "seductress" i cannot use the word "hot". She had that dignity, that purity that words like sexy and hot fail for her. That is the purity i am talking about. The men never ever took off their shirts."Six Packs" was never heard of. But they were literally killers. (Sorry John, You know i still love you) Please look out for the song "le ke pehla pehla pyaar" on Youtube. No man has ever given a more killer smile than Dev Anand. and yet it all looked so beautiful! There was no vulgarity, nothing to flinch about.
I dont say movies and songs from our time are vulgar and not watchable. They are great! I swear by them. But, the innocence ... yes thats the word, the innocence is missing.
It is said that trends come back. Our movies are great. I hope we get that "innocence" back.

PS: While talking about sexy songs, I personally think that nobody has looked sexier than Sri Devi in kaate nahi kat-te from Mr. India in that wet blue saari!!! :) :)

Aisa pehli baar (to nahi) hua hai ;-)

Aisa pehli baar hua hai
Satrah-atrah saalon mein
Undekha anjaana koi
Aane laga khayalon mein

Aankhon ki khidki par
Ek saaya sa lehraata hai
Dil ke darwaze par
Koi dastak dekar jaata hai

Gehri gehri kaali aankhen
Mujhse mujhko poochti hai
Haathon ki rekhaon mein
Ek chehra sa ban jaata hai

Uski saansein resham jaisi
Gaalon ko chu jaati hai
Uski haathon ki khushboo hai
Ab tak mere baalon mein

Haan! aisa pehli baar hua hai
Satrah-atrah saalon mein
Undekha anjaana koi
Aane laga khayalon mein

Something tells I'm into something good :)

Woke up this morning feeling fine
There's something special on my mind
Last night I met a new boy in the neighborhood
Oh yeah
Something tells I'm into something good

He's the kind of boy who's not too shy
And I cant help but tell him he's my guy
He danced close to me like I hoped he would
Something tells me I'm into something good

We only danced for a minute or two
But then be stuck close to me the whole night through
Can I be falling in love
He's everything I've been dreaming of

He walked me home and he held my hand
I knew it couldn't just a one night stand
And he asked to see me next week
And I told him I could
Something tells me I'm into something good
Something tells me I'm into something good

He walked me home and he held my hand
I knew it couldn't just a one night stand
And he asked to see me next week
And I told him I could
Something tells me I'm into something good
Something tells me I'm into something good
Something tells me I'm into something good
Something tells me I'm into something good

Incredible India???

Four years ago, India pitched in to host the commonwealth games. With much glamour, everyone was invited to India. This was seen as an opportunity to show the world that India is a country more than just snake charmers and babas. Maybe authorities who wanted the CWG games to be held in India thought that it was a great chance to increase tourism in the country. However, none of this is happening. Today ,for the first time , I am ashamed to say that I am an Indian. I am ashamed to say that I am in a country where people always think about themselves before the honour of their own country. Truly, I do not have an event by event account of what went wrong. But I know corruption, greed, buck passing are some of the many reasons why India today stands in front of the world hanging her head in shame. The reviews which are being received from all around the world is totally embarrassing and the "clarifications" being given by commonwealth committee obnoxious and ridiculous to the point of frustration.
We , as a country, are being condemned the world over. When Saina Nehwal actually pointed out this fact which was actually know to everyone the world over, she was made to retract her statement. Why?
How long are we going to live in the past glories of this country? How long will we keep reciting the "zero discovering India", "oldest civilization India" stories? It is probably time to start making new achievement stories.
The fact is today we stand as a disgraced lot and although it is already too late, I hope we take a lesson and start working towards the honour of our motherland. Until then , a lot of credibility has been taken away from Incredible India.

The law of attraction

I have been reading soo soo much about the law of attraction that it seems that i know what the next line of a paragraph is going to be if it is about LOA. For the uninitiated, the LOA states that you attract whatever you think. So if you think about good things, you attract all the goodness in your life and you are happy and successful and rich and loved and all that. If on the other hand, you think about bad things, then bad things will happen to you. Also, the "universe" which is the power which "vibrates" in accordance with your thoughts, does not understand the word NO. So if you say "I dont want this" , the universe interprets it as "you want it" and it gives it to you. For example, you say you dont want to be late, the higher power or the universe takes it as "you want to be late" and ..guess what! You ARE late!! Anyway .. So to use LOA you need to know exactly what you want and what you DONT want so you not what not to attract and hence, I am not too sure how much it works for me.
But the "dont" thing .. Well!! It so proved right for me today. I was stuck in office , late as usual and when it was time for me to leave, it was like 7:15 - 7:20 types. I really could have gone by my own , but there were others around me who wanted somebody to drop me. So who volunteers??? The guy I really dislike. The over snobbish wannabe boss loser. the MBH category ( Main bhi hoon) A few days back, I was giving him all the profanities I could think of, and today, he was taking out his bike and i was thinking, "This is law of attraction so strongly at work!!" It really felt like I could thoroughly understand what all these teachers wanted to tell me about and how does the "universe" actually works!
Besides that, I completed reading train to pakistan and started a book called "only love is real". Internet is taking a lot of my time and i completely lie in quadrant 4. This is hampering my reading to a very very great extent and i need to pick it up soon. Feel like tea and Sabrina so until the next idea flows out of my mind .... so long!

A poem I heard somewhere

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there; I did not die.

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

I have this current F.R.I.E.N.D.S fixation. It really seems to be the best series ever. I didnt even expect that that torrent will ever download completely and I will get all the seasons of F.R.I.E.N.D.S! When you look at them, see how they live, there is this little teeny weeny wish to have a life like that. How wonderful would it be to live with the best of your friends? To hang out with them , to stay as a family?? It is one hilarious series. But the strangest thing happened . I cried while watching it a few days back. I mean not cried cried. But I had these two tears peeping out of my eyes. It was so sad to see Joey sad. Falling in love with someone you cannot be with is really complicated. Makes the funniest of the person sad.
But Joey came back! Since the beginning of the show I have never been able to decide who is my most favorite character amongst all the 6 friends. Now that I am nearing to the end, I know it is Joey. Yesterday , Chandler was leaving and Joey would not let him go. "You are just a leaver ... a leaver with a stupid suitcase" and he pushes the suitcase, steals it and what not!!
He has some other memorable quotes too! "It hurts my Joey's apple". or when Chandler and Joey flips a coin to choose between ducks and clowns. Joey chooses head because ducks have heads! and the best one "How you Doin'!!!!" :) I love that guy!
There is also one another point about FRIENDS which i really like. They all are into professions they actually love. Monica is a chef .. she loves cooking. Rachel loves fashion and Ross adores dinasours. Pheobe and Chandler are also working in places they are good at.
These guys have fun , they love their jobs , love and live their lives with the best of their friends. A life to die for! A fairyland of the real world!

Indian Men

Spitting on the road Indian Men

Abusive Indian Men

Peeing on the roads Indian Men

Corrupt Indian Men

Horny Indian Men

Egoistic Indian Men

Shouting Indian Men

Gentlemen ?? Not Indian Men ;) ;)

Life is musical!

How many times do you reallllly identify with a song? There can be various reasons. You are in a situation and a song starts playing nearby. You are actually in the situation where in you can associate yourself with the lyrics of the song and situation of the characters. It can be anything at all. Remember the scene in Andaaz apna apna , when Raveena tells Amir that she is not the real heiress of the property? Amir then has to clean all the plates and the song in background in "yeh kya hua ?"
Take a situation. There is this couple. They love each other knowing very well that they do not have a future. The guy has to leave. The girl comes to drop him at the airport. She has never felt more helpless in her life. She is probably seeing him for the last time. When she heads her way back, which is the first song that plays in the cab? Ye dooriyaan! The song becomes "her" song ..
lets take other scenarios .. Rain reminds me of rimjim gire sawan or mostly rim jhim rim jhim from 1942 a love story and a lovely mausam reminds me of ye mausam ka jaddo hai mitwa. Many times when I am upset and there is no one to cheer me up , I sing the song "mujhse naraaz ho to ho jao ...khud se lekin khafa khafa na raho"
Ofcourse! The hyderabad crush ... Mr. Fresh ... Whenever I would see him my brain would start playing the song "jab saamne tum aa jaate ho" and especially the line .. dekh kar tumk yakeen hota hai ...koi itna bhi haseen hota hai :) :)
Newly weds would want to own "dekho maine dekha hai ye ek sapna or may be ye tera ghar ye mera ghar"
Friends have so many songs to identify with .. i'll be there for you ... , i'll be al-right and even the latest jab mila tu! Ofcourse we have a friendship anthem .. Ye dosti hum nahi chhodenge!
eloped couples .. "humne ghar chhoda hai ;)"
I remember when Ritu had left, 2 songs would remind me of her. First was from JJWS ..rooth kar humse kabhi and the second one was from dushman Chitti na koi sandesh. Now I know these were sung for dying or dead siblings (God Forbid!!) but I am way too filmy.
So ... life can be pretty musical. Now only if we could have background music for our every moods :)
and the girl who loves yeh dooriyan may also like the following lines
Ranjish he sahi, dil he dukhane ke liye aa,
aa fir se mujhe chhod ke jaane ke liye aa

The ultimate guide to treat a girl

You know how I keep fantasizing about that one perfect guy? I have not met him as yet and sometimes I give up all the hope of meeting him. But I came across this article I had saved and I thought I will publish it here. Now I know that my blog is not public and actually nobody know about it. But say for some reason, somebody ...some guy stumbles upon this one, he should know this. Now only if I get treated this way aaaallll my life ... I will be the happiest person in the world throughout my life and so will be every girl who is actually treated this way.


•Grab her hand when you walk next to each other (don't make her grab yours). When standing, wrap your arms around her.
Girls have always been these strong beings who can be extremely independent. But sometimes we just get tired of being strong, of fighting and facing the world. When that "special person" holds our hands and wraps that protective arm around us, it feels so comforting and loved.

•Cuddle with her.
Girls love the little intimate things. Unlike guys, we DONOT have sex all the time in our minds. A sweet cuddle is more than amazing to feel good about you and the relationship.

•DON'T FORCE HER TO DO ANYTHING.
No, Never! We may get mad at you and get back at you by doing EXACTLY what you asked
us NOT to do. You know what, we ALWAYS ask you for your opinion when we need it and when we do not, it is not an ego hassle. It is just that we know what we want. We asked for BFs/Husbands and not dictators and tyrants. Also please DONOT expect us to follow you like little puppies when you never bother to ask about our opinions.

•Write little notes.
Writing is much more personal than e-mails. But more than anything else, such little gestures make us fall in love with you over and over again. :)

•Compliment her Honestly.
Yes do that! We love it !!

•When you hug her, hold her in your arms as long as possible.

The feeling of strength, comfort, belonging and love everything keeps running inside our heads when we get those looong hugs

•Be super sweet to her.
Yes! Yes! Be sweet :)

•Call her at night to wish her sweet dreams.
Even if it just a 2 min call, let us know that we are the last thought on your minds before you drift away in sleep.

•Comfort her when she cries.
Very important. Dont walk away when we cry and DONOT scold. That can be done later. Just tell us things which we want to hear.

•Wipe away her tears

•Love her with all your heart.
Boys keep wondering what girls want. But we just want to be loved. We are not some alien creatures you know. We just have a little more vulnerability than you so just love us .... truly ... with all your heart.

•Pick her up and flirt with her (she'll scream and say put me down but really she loves it).
Oh yes! Girls are big nautankis for sure. We may show that we dont like your silly flirting but in the heart of hearts we are smiling our brightest smiles and thanking God for bringing you in our lives.

•Be a gentleman (hold the door for her).
Be gentleman and classy. Girls love classy gentlemen.

•Don't let your friends talk trash about her, it'll get back 2 her!
If you let them do that, you are not protecting her honour and you dont deserve to be with her.

•DONT ever act diff in front of your friends than u r when it’s just u and her!!!!
She may not like the difference and take you as an impostor.

•Take her for a long walk at night!
and talk and make her laugh and be good to her.

•Always bring a blanket where ever you go outside when it’s cold to comfort her and hold her close
She will love it and love you :)

•NEVER LIE TO HER!!!!!! Because then she will think everything you ever said to her was a lie, even "I love you"
Especially never ever cheat on her.She may not leave you even if you lie to her if she loves you a lot. But heart in hearts she will never trust you. She will never believe a word you said even you are being truthful. and the worst part ...?? She will be broken from inside.

Thanks for the memories

I have lately started finding logic in almost everything around me and actually get irritated when I dont find it. Picked this habit from someone else but now it has become a way of my life. That is why , Thanks for the memories, my latest read failed to strike a cord with me. Although my search for logic has not made me a non-believer in fairy tales and with Cecila Ahren, I am prepared for a great treat of fairy tales. But Thanks for the memories tried to mix up science and imagination, which may sound quite cool right now since I am not being specific. But no , it was not. For the record let me mention that this does not mean that I didnot like the book because I always love Cecilia Ahren's sensitive writing. All her previous reads has unexplainable events which were perfectly acceptable to me. Lets start with her first novel P.S I l love you ...nothing really "fairy-tale" about this one actually. A dying husband writes some letters to his wife which are delivered to her one by one after his death hence keeping his memories and in a way,him,alive. It is a story of how the girl survives the death of her husband and tries hard to move on. Romantic, sad, moving and in parts draggy and boring. But, nevertheless, lovely!
The next book I read was "The Gift". Story of an overambitious man who gets some pills which makes it possible for him to be in two places at one time. Now! there is no explanation to it and sincerely it is not possible. But this book is so far my favourite Cecilia Ahren book. It has that fairy tale in the modern world thing to it which I always search for (even in my real life ...especially in my real life) Her sensitive writing again wins hands down.
Next: A place called here. This book is about a place called "Here". Story of a gardai (police officer in Ireland) who is obsessed and troubled by things getting mysteriously misplaced when you actually saw them 5 mins ago. All these things and people especially, who are lost under strange circumstances actually end up in a place called "here" She finds this place when she herself gets lost while jogging. Although quite an intriguing story, I didnot find it very interesting. However again I loved the concept.
Fourth book: If you could see me now. Another of my favourites. Unputdownable book. Children with imaginary friends. These "friends" are actually not imaginary and not even invisible. Its just that grown ups stop believing and hence are not able to see them any more. Cecilia spins a beautiful adult love story in this basically children oriented theme and does so amazingly well. The best part of this book was that the story reveals itself so slowly and smoothly and as a reader I could just go ...."ooohhh!! Its that way!!"
The fifth one was "The book of tomorrow" where the protagonist Tamara finds a diary which tells her the future. Tamara chooses to change and not to change some of it and hence finds out a lot about her life which were previously kept under wraps by her family.
It is said that fairy tales come to those who believe in them. I completely believe in them and give them a relief from my logical explanations. Actually what went wrong with "Thanks for the memories" is this: The explanations for the weird happenings in the story is not enough. I mean just transfusion of blood does not make that connection. Actually, with all the other books the events were totally fairy tale. It was kind of binary. 0 or 1. All or none. But this one took a perfectly normal happening of blood transfusion and converted it into a fairy tale touch story. Little disappointing. But I guess ...the last page ...oh the absolutely romantic last page of the book kind of covered up for the glitches and I closed the book with a smile.

I believe in God but not like everyone ...

While I sit in here surfing the net, my father is in the same room praying, singing bhajans. I some how feel a little guilty because I dont pray "per say" with my hands joined and all that. I dont remember the last time I visited a temple. Very truly speaking I dont get the "peace of mind" which people claim to obtain while they are in a temple. I mean I have visted the Gurudwara quite frequently in NOIDA and althouh it feels good , there is no inner peace kind of thing. I have never spoken this out loud even to myself and my parents also dont know about this. Actually nobody knows this fact about me --- I dont beilive in "Murti Pooja". Infact I figured this about myself some few days ago. Although it feels a little weird to have an altogether different sets of thought than most of the rest of the socity, I am happy that I have cleared this thing about myself to myself. But that really does not mean that I am a non beilever in God. I do very very strongly believe in Him. Its just that I dont think that standing in front of a statue would do me any good. I very firmly believe in Karma. I think that if I help a person and make him happy and change his life in even the most little way, thats my pooja. Thats my way way of bowing my head in front of God and thanking him for every little blessing He has showered on me. When I hurt someone, when somebody is upset because of me, thats when I am also hurting God. I fully realize that.When I have an exam or an interview, do i really need to stop by a temple?? Cant i just ask for God's blessings on the move? They say that God is omnipresent ...right? So that pretty much solves the problem.
I believe in You God and you know that. Only, for me, You are not in those statues or photographs, but you are that voice in my head who scold me everytime I fight with papa and keeps stinging me throughout the day when I use words like fuck!! You are the inspiration within me who tells me to help a needy and open an orphange. I respect life given by Him and thats the reason I dont eat non veg. I mean its not the dharma bhrasht thing or something. Its just that the idea of eating something (or body) after killing it is so repulsive. What about those people who kill animals, savour them and then claim to be devotees??
I have been faced with the jokes of being the most "non brahmin" among all my non brahmin friends. It pinched earlier, when I was not clear with my beliefs and thoughts. But, now .... not any more. Infact, maybe, after putting this in writing , I am making this more clear to myself.
I may not be lighting a diya, and not be knowing about the various tyohars (which according to some of my friends I must ...)but i know that the biggest prayer to God and the biggest way to Thank God is to be a good human being.
Now only if everyone was so intelligent as me ... ;)

I wish you were here ...

Wish you were here,
to share, to care,
to talk, to walk,
to hold my hands forever,
I wish you were here.

I wish you were here,
to fight , to console,
to hug, to hold,
to wipe my tears and stop my fears,
I wish you were here.

I wish you were here,
to stand by my side,
to promises abide,
to live our lives together,
I wish you were here.

I wish you were here,
through thicks and thins,
through losses and wins
through highs and lows
through friends and foes.
to say I love you dear,
I wish ...... you were here.

Menzz parlor ;)

Here i am! Writing my first blog from my cell! Kind of cool ( and tiring). Another thing special is that i am sitting at home, watching tv (yes man). Wat urged me to write this blog was these various ads asking men ... Emphasised MEN to take care of their skin and stuff. Now i know i shud not be sparing a thought to such a trivial matter. Not that i am old fashioned or something. Its just that we have all been conditioned to beilive that men dont really care about their looks and skin. So when you see something way so new, you become a little resistant. I mean i have no-oo problem with men caring about themselves. But it kind of becomes wierd. Like that day when i went for a head spa... There was this guy beside me who was getting his facial done. Although it was none of my business, but i could not help giggle a little. May be an end product would have been worth a dekko but i could have definitely spared the 'process'.
Having said that i would have to admit that i am a little drawn towards the 'chikna' kind of guys. My crush on Sahil (somebody from my ofc) and ali zafar (that pakistani singer) are a few examples. But then there being some extra 'chikna' is exactly the same reason which draws me away from them. I mean i like them but they kind of become a little girly. At the end of the day the rugged 'MAN' rocks superhot. Somebody who has a slight stubble, who loves sports, bike but is a gentleman. Somebody who has a class and a great smile. That would be kind of perfect. A perfect mix of metro and hetro ;-).
Alright! So men who like to spend their lesiure time in parlor ... Well!! No judgements being passed here. Your wish. I hope the poor mr.xyz out there, who has been sentenced to be with me for the rest of his and my life, is all that i hope for but keeps me out of his parlor schedule. May turn me off big time.;-)

The Immature Wishes!!

Here are a few of my wishes which I really wish to fulfill!

1) Wear a designer gown, look like a princess and walk down the stairs with everybody staring and gaping (in a good way ofcourse). Further walking on the red carpet and being photographed!!!

2) Visiting Disney land in the time of Christmas

3) Staying and enjoying the luxury of every greatest and elegant hotel in the world!

4) Becoming best friends to John Abraham

5) Being interviewed on National television for my achievements ofcourse preferably by KJO! ( I promise not to make fun of him)

6) Settling down in a breathtakingly beautiful hill station after retirement with my orphanage ofcourse!

7) Getting My dark Circles removed COMPLETELY and straighten my nose.

8) Living with the best of friends like the characters of F.R.I.E.N.D.S

9) Having a one to one with God so that I can patao him to make all the above wishes come true!!!!

Hyderabad blues,whites,pinks and lots of different colours!!!

While surfing the net today, I dont know how the word "mansaa" cropped up into my head. It reminded me of a teulgu song which we used to hear on our way to STC. They would have radio mirchi tuned in (Iddhi chala hot guru!!). we could only fret and complain about the incomprehensible telugu songs while any of our demand to tune in to some hindi radio station would be ignored. Most of us would then go to sleep because firstly it used to be really early morning ( 5:30 AM) and secondly it was a long journey. I would however sometime remain awake because there used to be an Air Force academy on our way to STC and I would wait if by chance I could set my eyes on an air force officer :)

Thinking back, Hyderabad days were like the bestest days of my life. It was so fun and good! We lived in this fantastic flat at a fantastic location and friends would stay just around the neighbourhood. By friends I ofcourse mean only Kari because others were just "ppl i knew". Both of us were links to our common group of friends and I loved her!! I loved to be with her!

The most amazing part of my stay in Hyd was definitely Sindhi Colony. There is no better happening place in this world other than sindhi colony. The streets were so full of life. Oh I still remember the sandwhiches, the pav bhaji, belgium dark chocolate ice creme and the paani poori in front of fresh!

Fresh!!! God!!!! Mr. Fresh! The guy I had a huge,maha,gigantic crush on. The person who made me realize what it means to go weak on the knees! and no ... he did not work in fresh. I would always see him either there or in the vicinity of fresh! God!! He was SUCH a DUDE!!!!

All us girls would so enjoy in our flat. Fun and laughter were a part of our daily lives. Some time even a little tension was but there were never an complaints. I loved each and every moment of my life in hyderabad.

I can only thank God for giving me such a wonderful tenure in a wonderful city!!!

and by the way .. here's to the song that brought back all the sweet memories!

Mansaa !!!! (Whatever it means though! :) )

Hyderabad rocks!!!! :)

A Singular life

I wish I could feed this statement to people's head that just because my roommate is married or any of my friend is married ... does not make a necessary and important condition for me to get married. I mean ...ok ..ask me "Varsha. when r u planning to get married?" Dont ask me "So & So ki to shadi ho gayi ...ab teri kab ho rahi hai ?" Dude .. I was not waiting for ms. So & So to get married so that I could go ahead. Why do people ask such irritating questions anyway??
Also, with all the confusions in my mind pertaining to love and marriage, filhaal i am happy being single. And the best part of being single? Maybe that you are much at peace with yourself. You dont worry about somebody else and you don't feel guilty about being selfish. You are not overtly possessive or protective about anyone else. To put it in the words of Cameron Diaz from "what happens in Vegas" ... There is no one else to please but myself!! :)
I mean ... its another thing to be with some one. That's a happiness on another level. Even the sadness is welcomed then. The tears are precious because they are shed for the person you hold the most important. The smiles are priceless because he/she will do anything to see you smile.
Right now, I cry for myself and smile for myself and since there is no one else ... I console myself because I like to see myself smile too :)
Whatever it be ... I hope people stop asking me questions which are capable of blowing my handle!

Changing backgrounds

I am so becoming a pro in maintaining my blog site. This background for example gives me a feel. My head knows that I have a few scenes stuck in my head. This background reminds me of one of them. I am sitting on the side of a long French window with a cup of hot coffee/Bournvita. It is raining outside and I can see the lush greenery outside. Everything is calm and serene including the voices in my head. All I can hear is the sound of rain against my (french) window. It feels so good to only imagine it and feels even more nice to imagine how nice it would feel when this would really happen.

Maybe we can have an alter world inside our grey cell factory. Actually we have. Atleast I have. I can have an entire alter planet in there. (Yes I can imagine weird stuff but i cannot come up with solutions to maths problems. The biggest regret of my life! Anyway ... ) But then it would be so nice if God could give me a chance to expand my horizons and let me actually visit other new places rather than me going to some weird imaginary places which are nothing but my brain's doodles!!

Alright I'll come to the point!!!!! I want to travel, dear God!! I want to see the world. I want to meet people of different origins. I want to shut those bloody show offs up who have nothing better to do that posting there euro trips on FB and I want my dark circles removed. ( I thought if I am telling you what I want I better add one more of my desperate demands :) )

Ok .. so bad days at office, losr feelings in mind ....yes there is no change in my life except for the background of my blog. All is well!!

PS: God!! Sometimes I write real crap!

Love

The one word that changed the lives of several people on earth and will keep doing so till eternity. Men and women , however, perceive it differently. I mean ... if you ask a woman what love to her is , chances are she would all go misty eyed and mushy and talk about things like candle light dinners, long walks by the beach side holding hands, flowers ...you get the picture. Whereas a man ... he may probably say -- you know ---the 3 letter thing which all men enjoy .. I am not saying it for all the men in the world but if you consider it ...isn't it that way? Aren't men only interested in sports score and *** ?? When a woman falls in love, trust me, she will not look beyond her man and still stand on her own. He becomes her world. He becomes her biggest strength and she can win all her battles with just him on her side.

she gives him her life and asks only for love, trust and support. How many men actually do that? How many men do not look at ( read ogle) another girls while they are still committed or worse,married? When a man feels his marriage is collapsing, he looks for support outside. When a woman feels her marriage collapsing, she tries every trick in the book to make it work.

I , in no way, intend to make this article a battle of the sexes. These are just some points I wonder about. But its just how I feel.

Why do you think most of the most romantic books are written by women? Probably because the authors know that that's how a woman wants to be treated. Actually sometimes I do feel that women become a little selfish in only wanting to be pampered. They cannot have the "me" time all the time. But I guess most of us do understand that. A woman expects a man to do something. A man however demands a woman to do whatever he wants him to do. Some men are happy with their wives only because they are easy to dominate. They (the wives) would listen to them without actually giving their own opinions. Isn't it unfair and sad?

Girls spend all their lives waiting for that perfect one. I hope and wish every girl gets her prince charming.

If you ask me where did I go with this article ... I really cannot say. I just typed and tried to (unsuccessfully) connect a few of my thoughts. However , this is what I want to say in the end.

According to greek mythology, humans were originally created with 4 arms, 4 legs and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, zeus split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves.

Can you keep a secret!!

Finally I read this book by Sophie Kinsella -- Can u keep a secret and was it fantastic!! It was a typical chick-lit and I loved every page of the book. Yes there were some illogical turns to the story but I had great fun reading it. I laughed like crazy at some points. The character is so like me. She has her own insecurities just like I have. She pretends to be an efficient and intelligent employee just like me. She succeeds at times and fails many times. Anyway, there were parts which made me laugh out loud and thankfully I was alone at my PG otherwise I would have been labelled a complete moron :) I think the last time I laughed like a complete fool reading a book was while reading The Zoya factor.I am soo tempted to write a few of my silly secrets in here just like Emma. But I am not sure whether I should be doing that. One thing is for sure. I am reading more of Sophie Kinsella's books. I love her writing style.
Waiting for more books by her on my book shelf. :)

Lyrics of my current fav song :)

Lyrics of Jab Mila Tu Song

Jaise gadhi ke gihra se, waqt kahin pe gira ho
Jaise roshni subah se, ho jaaye judaa
Jaise gaane aur nazam se, sur ko hi chura le
Waise aadha adhoora, main hoon tere bina

Jab mila tu, ru tu ru ..
Na thi kami na justaju, ru tu ru ..
Aur aadhe aadhe pal huye phir poore yun
Jab mila tu, ru tu ru ..

Khaali jo raat ho, main khwabon chaand taaron se woh poori bar doon
Teri jo baat ho, main bin kahe hi aadhi pauni poori kar doon
Jo aadhe se hum hain, woh poore ho tumse
Na jaane yeh sauda bhi kab tay huya
Adhoore se kisse, barabar ke hisse
Tu dil to main dua

Jab mila tu, ru tu ru ..
Na thi kami na justaju, ru tu ru ..
Aur aadhe aadhe pal huye phir poore yun
Jab mila tu, ru tu ru ..

Kal tu jo khoyi ho, to gumshuda yeh zindagi basar kar doon
Manzil jo soyi ho, to khwab saare tere hi nazar kar doon
To aadhe se dil ko, jo laayegi bhi to
Main sau khwaishon se hi bar doon dabo
Kare na yeh tu tu, abhi ke abhi tu
To aake aazma

Jab mila tu, ru tu ru ..
Na thi kami na justaju, ru tu ru ..
Aur aadhe aadhe pal huye phir poore yun
Jab mila tu, ru tu ru ..

Jaise gadhi ke gihra se, waqt kahin pe gira ho
Jaise roshni subah se, ho jaaye judaa
Jaise gaane aur nazam se, sur ko hi chura le
Waise aadha adhoora, main hoon tere bina
http://www.top10bollywood.com/

Jab mila tu, ru tu ru ..
Na thi kami na justaju, ru tu ru ..
Aur aadhe aadhe pal huye phir poore yun
Jab mila tu, ru tu ru ..
Jab mila tu

Here and there

I sometimes wish God had given us the ability to detach our body parts when it pained and allowed us to use new ones in replacement. You know ...like .."my legs are paining today. Let me allow them to take some rest and let me use the new ones. They need some movement anyway ".... This kind of replacement. I am thinking this way because my legs are actually paining like hell ....they are not just paining, they are stiff as well. Result of too much gyming. I am not able to walk. Infact I am walking like a man with my legs apart. So awkward was my walk today that even my office guard asked me "Ma'am, tabiyat theek nahi hai kya??" and when I nodded in a yes .. he said "aapki chaal dekh ke samajh main aa raha hai" ..aaaahhhhh ....i am not able to move especially my left leg. :(
well anyway ... I saw Kurbaan today and Rajneeti yesterday. Both were heavy duty heavy star cast films but none of them had the wow factor. I'll be watching last song very soon and apart from the fact that it is a movie out of the book written by Nicholas Sparks, there is no other reason for me to see it. I wish they had a better star caste than what they have. I am not sure how Miley Cyrus would have carried he role.
Another thing .... As a breather to Ayn Rand's We the living, I bought two books. One is Sophie Kinsella's Can You Keep A Secret and a book by an Indian Author "The thing between u n me" Can you is a book I am liking so no complains. But the other book, well , I have already been very vocal about how pathetic it was in twitter. I finally mailed the author of the book telling him how bad he was in the language and in his story telling. I really could not stop myself. To my surprise, this Sagar fellow wrote back to me accepting his mistakes and promising me a better quality book for the next time. I am not reaaly sure if I will ever have the guts to read his book again, but the fellow seemed nice. I somehow am being predjudiced with him. Probably because he so reminds me of those typical back benchers of MP Engg colleges. I know I should'nt be thinking that way.
Lastly, while fixing a quick dinner for myself last night, I ended up making the best daal of the year! It was so amazing, I feel like eating daal chawal tonight also :D

Meri jung

I never got anything easily .. Not that I complaint about it. But sometimes I do regret about not being one of those topper types .. I dont have that "way" in me at all. Shiv Khera said " Winners dont do different things. They do things differently! Now thats the "difference" I could never create. I mean I try! Trust me I do .. and maybe then I fallout soon. I run, get tired, I walk, fall, get pushed .. get pushed when people laugh sarcastically when I dont know something, when people think I am not worthy of getting a job elsewhere , when people think I dont know anything ... I fight these sarcasms, these people daily. Sometimes I feel like running away, sometimes I feel like proving them wrong and sometimes I feel like not doing anything at all.
But then I get up every morning and whatever may be my first thought as soon as i wake up .. I go about through my day with the same vigour ...the same sine pattern .... I will make it ..one day . I want to improve. I am learning .. One day I will proove to every one out there that I am much more capable than what they are! Then I will go out to them and show them that how wrong they were in making fun of me, smiling those sarcastic smiles and how right I was in hating them!
This entry may seem a little negative, but it is not. It is just to reinforce the fact that I have been given this life because only I can handle it. And with all the wars I fight daily, I will win and they (yes .. I have a few particular ppl in mind when I say this) will see me rise !! :) :)

My first sketch

My first ever sketch! I tried to draw Priety Zinta ..unsuccesful attempt obviously but I may become good if I try. Once I become good at sketches, then I will try paints. But as of now, this was the first time. I am not too happy but then I am not too disappointed either.

No pain, no compliments

Seriously! The pain girls go through to keep themselves prim and proper!! We get our eyebrows threaded and our body hair removed from the roots! We sit for hours with those sticky (and sometimes smelly) masks on. Although the end result is extremely and obviously worth it, but the process is nothing less than a torture. Especially for me, getting my eyebrows done is not less than a punishment. Now, the fact is that there is some nerve which connects our eyebrows and nose. So when the eyebrows get tweezed, I have this irritation in my nose and I sneeze. I am very popular in the parlour I go to because of this embarrassing habit of mine and the lady gives me a tissue even before she makes me sit! Infact, the day when I thankfully dont sneeze much, they are like "arey , aaj cheekein nahin aayee??" Then if you go for those tan removing facials, there are again those irritating face masks, which make you feel that there are thousand little needles being prickled on your face. Getting waxed again is an activity I hope I could give a miss to. I mean although it is not as painful as getting ur eyebrows done, but when that hot wax is applied on your skin, you sincerely wish that you lived in a society where body hair was acceptable!
Yes, I know that all these whatever parlour thingies make you look more elegant, lady like and beautiful, sometimes they become a task ...a task which has to be completed in any which way.
But i guess I should not be complaining. I mean if I have to take the pain , then I also get to take the compliments :)

O Captain! My Captain!

My Favourite poem!! :

O Captain my Captain! our fearful trip is done,
The ship has weathered every rack, the prize we sought is won,
The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,
While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring;
But O heart! heart! heart!
O the bleeding drops of red,
Where on the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.

O Captain! my Captain! rise up and hear the bells;
Rise up--for you the flag is flung for you the bugle trills,
For you bouquets and ribboned wreaths for you the shores a-crowding,
For you they call, the swaying mass, their eager faces turning;
Here Captain! dear father!
This arm beneath your head!
It is some dream that on the deck,
You've fallen cold and dead.

My Captain does not answer, his lips are pale and still;
My father does not feel my arm, he has no pulse nor will;
The ship is anchored safe and sound, its voyage closed and done;
From fearful trip the victor ship comes in with object won;
Exult O shores, and ring O bells!
But I, with mournful tread,
Walk the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.

Walt Whitman

Walt Whitman wrote the poem after Abraham Lincoln's assassination. Repeated metaphorical reference is made to this issue throughout the verse. The "ship" spoken of is intended to represent the United States of America, while its "fearful trip" recalls the troubles of the American Civil War. The titular "Captain" is Lincoln himself.

Socha na tha

Watching love stories with happy ending always make me want to believe in fairy tales. Socha na tha is one such kind of a movie. An imperfectly perfect love story of Viren and Aditi. A rather unnoticed movie, I really really like the concept and story of SNT. I dont know if its just with me or do everyone imagine themselves in the position of the protagonists. There is no fun if there you get everything on a platter in your life. Achieving something after a little bit of trouble gives that extra enjoyment. Aditi and Viren were getting each other on a platter. But they rejected each other for their own reason. Since they did not have anything against each other, they end up becoming friends and soon realizing that actually they are in love with each other. I love the last bit where it says, "sab chahte the ye shadi kar le magar fir bhi , bhaag gaye :)" .I am a little disappointed with Abhay deol since he has shown inclination towards the darker cult genre of cinema. I wish he did some more sweet movies like SNT.
I hope Aisha is a nice movie.

Confessions of a shopholic!

I dont know when did the shopping bug bite me. I remember how I used to hate shopping. Actually I would hate the confusion and the indecisiveness which came attached to it. So much so that I would never ever shop for my own birthday. Also I was never largely fond of getting dressed up while I was in Bhopal. I would go out to buy something only when I badly needed some dress like when I was growing up in height and hence growing out of my clothes. Till Hyderabad I never had two bags. I never thought about buying one. Even in early Delhi years in fact I never had options for foot wears. I would consider buying these things only when the sole piece which I would own would turn into tatters.
I would buy a lot of t-shirts from Hyd so that it would go with the only pair of jeans I owned. So buying T-shirts/tops started from Hyderabad. I remember the first official shopping spree I went on with Deepika. I was really out of clothes and ended up shopping for around 5k at the City Centre.
But I turned into a shopohloic/shopping maniac when I came to Delhi. I dont exactly remember the series of events which made me one. Probably Neha's fetish for dressing up perfectly rubbed off into me. Slowly I started shopping for more and more and more and now I actually enjoy myself when I dress up and buy stuff. Not only dresses but shoes, bags and soon maybe I may foray into accessories :P :P.
I believe you become a professional shopper when You go shopping when you are alone and you go shopping when you are bored and you go shopping when you are with your friends, are enjoying yourself and had shopped just a day ago. In short it is the only thing you can think of as a source of entertainment.
Now I walk in malls in a state of trance, busy looking everywhere, searching for that perfect store , searching for ideas to mix and match. I have gone as a lonely shopper quite a few times now and ended up getting some decent stuff! First I used to rely a lot on people's opinion. I still do. But now I have gained enough confidence to get something good for me without much help.
After every shopping I promise myself that this will be my last one but somehow it is like this chain reaction which never stops. I still actually have a few dresses in my wardrobe which are still intact with their tag on!
I completely identify with Becky Bloomwood !!

Sixth sense in D-173

A normal day over all but two things happened today which urged me to write today's blog. First I was stuck in this hailstorm. What seemed to be a no show when i left office with just 1-2 drops falling over me turned out the most unbelievable hailstorm. Actually come to think of it I guess this was the first hailstorm I ever saw. The street was white. I was in this shared auto full of people and these hailstones were bombarding over our head and hitting us from the sides. I could not really figure out if this was an awesome experience or an awful one.
Anyway the second incident and the rather interesting/funny one is this. We have a small child who works as a household help. He was absent for 2 days and his mother told us he is unwell. But what she told one of my flatmate was that he has been hearing the sound of a trinket (payal) at our flat and he is scared and hence down with fever. Akriti (my flatemate) found this real weird and asked the boy when he came back. The boy not only told her that not only he did hear some noises but also he feels that someone is following him or that someone has just stood in front of him. He probably claims to be a radar for these unnatural forces it seems because he says that the street dogs always follow him generally and dont give him the way to walk. Now this sounded weird yes but more interesting somehow.
I mean probably this child is hallucinating and dogs loving him extraordinarily could just be a subject totally unrelated to being spooky. But even if I give him the benefit doubt and consider that there is actually something or someone roaming around he/she does mean no harm. I am so sure about this fact because I have been living here since the last 2 yrs and I have never ever experienced anything remotely spooky.
While discussing about the same subject in the kitchen,Sonal said that maybe this child is like the child in sixth sense. Now that thought really gave me goose bumps (not literally though) Not because there may be something eerie going around in the place where I live but because I was reminded of the movie.
I thing sixth sense is theee most scariest movie I have seen. The silences which is so chilling and the casual ghosts walking around!! Ooooof!! I get these shivers down my body when I think of the movie.
Anyway .. Sixth sense may be one hell of a ghost watch but I am sure that there is nothing in the place I live.

How are you?

How are you ?? I am "fine" thank you!! How life?? Life is good!! This is what I reply to the two most asked questions. Only the words "fine" and "good" have different connotations. How are you ?? I am "fine" ..hmm ..lets see!! Yes I have a job in IBM so I am fine. But what exactly I do in this job??? I make dashboards!! or pathetic excel sheets. I run scripts which others have made and i have no clue what is written in it! But you see I am fine. On the top of it I work for an Indian client.No onsite!! Wow!!! What do i do then??? I keep looking at other people's albums who have been to all over the world and then crib on my blog. When God created me he easily forgot to give me brains so nothing comes easy. I have to force myself to understand everything. Oh and he did not forget to give me wrong decision making powers!
Nothing ... venting out my frustration here because i know nobody reads it!

yeh diya bujhe nai ...

यह दिया बुझे नहीं
- गोपाल सिंह नेपाली (Gopal Singh Nepali)

यह दिया बुझे नहीं

घोर अंधकार हो
चल रही बयार हो
आज द्वार–द्वार पर यह दिया बुझे नहीं
यह निशीथ का दिया ला रहा विहान है।

शक्ति का दिया हुआ
शक्ति को दिया हुआ
भक्ति से दिया हुआ
यह स्वतंत्रता–दिया

रूक रही न नाव हो
जोर का बहाव हो
आज गंग–धार पर यह दिया बुझे नहीं
यह स्वदेश का दिया प्राण के समान है।

यह अतीत कल्पना
यह विनीत प्रार्थना
यह पुनीत भावना
यह अनंत साधना

शांति हो, अशांति हो
युद्ध, संधि, क्रांति हो
तीर पर¸ कछार पर¸ यह दिया बुझे नहीं
देश पर, समाज पर, ज्योति का वितान है।

तीन–चार फूल है
आस–पास धूल है
बांस है –बबूल है
घास के दुकूल है

वायु भी हिलोर दे
फूंक दे, चकोर दे
कब्र पर मजार पर, यह दिया बुझे नहीं
यह किसी शहीद का पुण्य–प्राण दान है।

झूम–झूम बदलियाँ
चूम–चूम बिजलियाँ
आंधिया उठा रहीं
हलचलें मचा रहीं

लड़ रहा स्वदेश हो
यातना विशेष हो
क्षुद्र जीत–हार पर, यह दिया बुझे नहीं
यह स्वतंत्र भावना का स्वतंत्र गान है

Love or ??

I have a perception --- that there is no love after marriage. It is a scary thought for me. Maybe I am wrong ( which I hope I am) but why is there a mundane feeling which seeps in after marriages? This I am saying irrespective of the fact that whether the marriage is a love or arranged one. Do people really fall out of love especially after marriage? What about people who choose to get their marriage arranged? I mean .. There is no love to begin with and then the couple may fall in love ( because technically they don't have a choice) and what after a few years when the warmth and hunky doriness fades out? I have yet to see a "love is forever" example.
One reason is probably that prior to marriages the lovers are not together and they long to be together. But once they are married and have spent enough time together, they get bored (?) or too habituated for each other.
Why is this love, marriage stuff so complicated at times? Maybe I can find out the answer only when I foray into it. But this is the exact reason why i would want to keep out of this.
Love can make a stranger dearer to me than anyone else. But arranged ? When my parents and his parents will ask us to stay together for an entire life? How will this stranger become dear to me? and his whole family? How will I consider his family as my family? Complications at their height!

Mujhe Pukaar Lo -- Harivansh Rai Bachchan

मुझे पुकार लो

इसीलिए खड़ा रहा कि तुम मुझे पुकार लो!

ज़मीन है न बोलती न आसमान बोलता,
जहान देखकर मुझे नहीं जबान खोलता,
नहीं जगह कहीं जहाँ न अजनबी गिना गया,
कहाँ-कहाँ न फिर चुका दिमाग-दिल टटोलता,
कहाँ मनुष्य है कि जो उमीद छोड़कर जिया,
इसीलिए खड़ा रहा कि तुम मुझे पुकार लो

इसीलिए खड़ा रहा कि तुम मुझे पुकार लो!

तिमिर-समुद्र कर सकी न पार नेत्र की तरी,
विनष्ट स्वप्न से लदी, विषाद याद से भरी,
न कूल भूमि का मिला, न कोर भोर की मिली,
न कट सकी, न घट सकी विरह-घिरी विभावरी,
कहाँ मनुष्य है जिसे कमी खली न प्यार की,
इसीलिए खड़ा रहा कि तुम मुझे दुलार लो!

इसीलिए खड़ा रहा कि तुम मुझे पुकार लो!

उजाड़ से लगा चुका उमीद मैं बहार की,
निदघ से उमीद की बसंत के बयार की,
मरुस्थली मरीचिका सुधामयी मुझे लगी,
अंगार से लगा चुका उमीद मै तुषार की,
कहाँ मनुष्य है जिसे न भूल शूल-सी गड़ी
इसीलिए खड़ा रहा कि भूल तुम सुधार लो!

इसीलिए खड़ा रहा कि तुम मुझे पुकार लो!
पुकार कर दुलार लो, दुलार कर सुधार लो!

- बच्चन

Indian Television Industry -- What???

There are a plethora of tv serials around these days. But my God!!How bad are they! While I was at home last week I saw this program called uttaran. Now here is the scene. Icha is getting married and right now its her mehendi ceremony. Her jealous friend is lousily dancing on "mere hathon main nau nau chooriyan". Just like typical hindi movies which are now forgotten the song ends peacefully and the drama begins (Why do the daku/chor/any hinderance in walking and talking form appear only after the song has ended?? Probably even they are busy enjoying the song). While there was nothing to enjoy in this performance ... this dude walks up shouting at the top of his voice at the bride to be. Apparently this person is the groom to be and is upset because iccha has written him a letter (i would like to comment here that who writes letter these days but chalo ...granted!!) asking him whether he would be able to accept her knowing she has had an unpleasant past. Basically this guy is here to declare his undying love for her in front of everybody present in the hall. He rants his wierdo dialogues and then comes the most amazing part ... He says "tum janna chahti ho main tumse kitna pyaar karta hoon?" and he bares his chest which has icha written over it and says ..."Ye dekho"

Such scenes make you flinch! Now we know that there is good talent out there which can be put across on screens beautifully. But why serve such nonsense? The reason that people like this is not a thought which can easily be bought. There have been other programs as well and people have liked them too.

Since TV is more accessible than movies, it is only obvious that it is more true to real life. I mean people have their own life. Everybody is not consumed in planning on destroying other people's lives. There is life beyond love and cheating. Every other girl does not get married just to take up a pallu on their heads and keep getting coffees for their husbands.

I hope TV becomes more sensible and entertaining. I breaks my heart to see nothing entertaining.

Girl Power -- way back then!

There is a list of powerful ladies -- Indira gandhi, Kiran bedi, Sonia Gandhi, Sarojni Naidu and many more. But if you would go a little beyond centuries there is one woman I worship. Rani Laxmi Bai. Think about the time she was born in! 19th century for God's sake!!!! I mean that was the time when women were considered mere objects, slave to men , powerless entites and so on. This lady fought a whole battle in these times. Not alone mind you! She had this little baby tied to her back! I mean this nari shakti thing came into existence only when somebody actually had the realization that women are not just supposed to be bossed upon and fucked upon to produce kids and "satisfy" men. They were real actual human beings who should be treated as individuals. But I am not very strong with history and i am not sure when did this women empowerment wave started. What i am sure of is that way back then -- when Rani laxmi Bai was there, there was no nari shakti ki lehar. To add to this she was a widow. Wiodws were considered bad luck and were encourged to burn themselves with the corpse of their husband ...because they would not have any life once their husbands were dead?????? ( who ever came up with this ridicolous thought???) Anyway my point is hats off to this woman who against all odds went up their and fought with the strongest of the army. I mean WOW!!! If somehow magically I am allowed to time travel (wow ..idea for another blog ;)) I am sure to go up, meet this lady and salute her for what she is. Ofcourse I cannot deny the fact that she was brought up in a family where women were considered equal ( Kudos to the family here)
Just imagine if all the families were like her family! We would not have needed a women's day ..no 33% reservation bill! Because we would not have needed them. It would just have been about being an individual! nothing else!
This one lady made the men in the english army salute her! Jhansi today is known only because of "Jhansi ki rani" .Kudos to God for creating such an awesome and marvellous human being.
I quote Subhardra Kumari here
Bundelo har bolo ke muh se humne suni kahani thi
Khoob ladi mardani woh to jhansi wali rani thi!
Really ....hats off!!!!!!!

Its fun being a girl :)

Yes it actually is. Know what!!! If we want there can be no day like the previous day. That's because we have sooooo many choices. I can be a traditional salwar suit clad Indian girl one day and a modern trouser shirt donned professional the next day and a super cool super casual white tee blue jeans on the weekend. I can keep my hair loose on Wednesday, tie a pony on Thursday, put a clutcher on Friday and a bun on Saturday. Retail therapy or shopping in common language is enough to get my adrenaline rushing and a double trouble doughnut more than enough to keep my troubles at bay (time being).
I will get somebody to drop me home when I cant find an auto because .. Hey!! Its not safe for girls to stay out late. Now pardon me being a little mean but a sweet and tad stretched "pleeeaaase" can get lots of work done.
I can stay at home and never get bored even without a TV because i can keep myself busy all the time! How you ask?? Ok ... here is a list
1) try my wardrobe in different variation
2) apply various face masks (making, applying and cleaning up later takes a lot of time)
3) Keep removing and applying nail polishes, accessories etc
4) Experiment with your look
5) Experiment in kitchen (checking out new recipes from the net)
6) Keep browsing the net for glowing skin tips, healthy hair tips, so on and so forth

Oh well!! There are many more such ideas.

So although I realized this really late but I did finally get it! Girls like to have fun their own way and I am no different!!

A customized life

A life lacking talent and energy sucks. Just like mine. I mean Am i like this because God made me like this or am i like this because I made myself like this? Well if the correct answer hanging around in the universe is the second one then its going to be lots of work. Admitting it to begin with and then making amends.

I have always wished for one thing. It may have been (one of the) weirdest thought. Can I have a one to one with God?? It seems really funny but then things would be so clearer. I mean i could request him to make some changes in the product he has manufactured in the form of me :) or maybe we can talk about having a next life. Like lets start with the beginning kind of stuff. Like the "I wanna grow up once again" kind of thing. Maybe I would be more good looking and definitely and seriously extremely intelligent. Somebody who can think deeply. Somebody who can solve Maths as easily as forming sentences.

And then a few add ons please. Grace,dignity and poise to begin with. Now since these qualities are easily found in a dancer why not make me one? Dancers have largely a sense of music too because technically they are supposed to "go with the rhythm" Passing out from a fabulous institute helps.Something like IIT for instance ... But then it is not necessary that I would like to go with the herd in my customised life too. I would want to take up something so out of the league. Nature photographer for instance. Any photographer for that matter. I would be going places... capturing and preserving the most beautiful moments. Yes it would be fun. And while we are at it lets become the best in business so that I am also paid the big bucks. This "best in business" thing is cool when you have a golden heart. God you have to give me one this time. Because mom says that her dad said that you should always be humble and I think it makes perfect sense. So to sum up in my customised life I would be a beautiful successful rich and humble photographer who loves dance,music and is good at maths. Not bad. and not too much to ask for. Right God????

I hope you read this and consider this...really seriously. Until then can you just give me that energy and determination to make those amends???

Jiyo Life

Sitting on a bench at Mall road of a breathtakingly beautiful hill station, seeing the hustle and bustle of the markets at one side and the descending clouds at the other. Sitting at the banks of a calm ocean with a camp fire and probably leaning beside that special one :)
Coming back home after a satisfying and challenging day of work, resting on a couch with an awesome book or a great movie or both and good food of-course!
Walking along lush green gardens with all the flowers in the world overlooking a fairytale castle!
long road, red trees around and serenity everywhere
and living every moment with him, loving him, being loved ...that would be a true jiyo life moment!
Ah! I AM a dreamer! :)

What's happening

I really feel i am sheerly wasting my time and life these days. I am not technically sound and i am making no effort to become so. I am not studying for any competetive exam because I am almost sure that I will not be able to clear it and I dont want to do it just for the heck of it. I am not sure if giving any kind of certification exam is going to help so i am not studying for that either.. so all in all I am not doing anything other than FBing and downloading movies and sulking. I need to plan and streamline things in my life. I am not sure what do I want to do ...MBA??? i really dont think so ...MS ... I dont want to go abroad to study ! continue in software ??? What after a few years? PM PL and things like that? Its not that easy .. and I dont have those leadership qualities .... so all in all my life is zilch ....zilch professional life ... zilch personal life ....zilch love life !!!! God!!! and at the top of that if (God forbids) I get married ..then I am screwed! No more progress!! My life is done with! Uggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Help me God!!! Help me Help me Help me!!!!

Around the world in a lifetime

I never knew I wanted to travel the whole world until I stepped out of my home to start living on my own. Now I want to see every place on this earth! I think the best job in the world belongs to that pretty girl who hosts the "Best hotels in the world" Show. She gets paid to stay in the most luxurious hotels, travel all over and take in every kind of different experiences! WOW! I mean ..just WOW!!!! It would be like this one job for which I can give my eye and teeth ! Anyway there is sooo much to see all around. Starting with apna Bharat desh ,I have not been to many places ( Thanks to my pitaji who would take us either to Raipur or to nowhere during our summer vacations) The one place I really really want to go are the mountains .... If I am not sure about anything else in my life I am atleast sure of one thing ... When I retire I am settling in the mountains. Then there is Laddakh and East of India which I am sure is a beautiful place. God!!! I really want to go in there! How I wish .. How I wish its possible!!! Pls make it possible God!
Then ...Why limit oneself to India?? There are so many awesome places in the world that I would want to go everywhere and take in every experience and every story along with me. Infact then there will be less time and so much to see ...Wow!!

Seriously ppl who travel and get to see the world are lucky!

:-(

Not feeling good yaar ... :-(
Pata nahi .... andar se ek ajeeb si feeling aa rahi hai. 'm feeling uncomfortable. Like something is going terribly wrong. I dont know if it has anything to do with the error of yesterday. Partially maybe ...but ... yaar kisi ke chale jaane se itna khalipan aa jayega .. I never comprehended that. I mean I knew I will be sad and upset and things like that but .... I am feeling this huuugeee Vacccccum. Its this inertia ... i dont feel like moving from a position after i settle down. :-( its that bad. I dont feel like talking to anyone. And then the particularly irritating ones ..uuugggghhhhhh... I wish I could just shout at them at the topmost level of my voice and ask them to chuck themselves off!!
Please help me Lord! I have put myself into teribble teribble mess. I should'nt have .. But I did and now .. Its that shitty feeling -- the cuddle yourself up and cry wali feeling. At the top of that you are supposed to play normal :-(

Why me God!! Why me ????

Dreams ...

She was a simple girl. she lived in own little world. she had just started a new journey of her life and was enjoying every new experience she had. A free bird --she was happy flying around in her own sky.

He had a past he had left behind. He was learning to live again, searching for reasons to be happy. He was doing pretty well for himself -- moving on --selecting only the good memories -- forgetting about the bad ones.

No sparks flew when they met. Both of them hardly noticed each other. Love, she said, was not meant for her. Love, he said, is not possible for him anymore. They did not have the faintest idea how wrong they were.

Times changed when she found herself in a new place. A place where she could not fit herself. She felt like a lost child in a huge city where the only correct thing she felt she could do was to stand wherever she was. Maybe somebody will come back and find her. She was taken aback to see him extend a hand of support. She did not want it at first. She was OK being alone now. But at least she felt his warmth and was grateful for the gesture.

They were better friends now. At least for her, He was not completely forgotten. She felt happy being around him. Moreover, she looked forward to his company. A stupid smile would reign over her face every time he was around.

This may sound overused ..but yes ..she felt absolutely helpless. Like she was caught in a huge tide and she was completely powerless. All she could do was go wherever the tide was taking her.
She knew the tide was taking her towards the wrong direction. She was going to hurt a lot of people if she did not do something quickly ... but she was not doing anything to change the course of her journey.

He was taken aback by the sudden change in her behavior. He knew love brought happiness ..but it also brought pain. Also he had promises to keep and he planned to stick by it. "No" , he thought. He cannot fall for the second time. He decided to stay away but tried not to break her heart. But still he could not stop himself calling her everyday. Soon he found himself caught in the same tide.

Both of them had given up trying knowing the circumstances very well.

A year and a half passed . They laughed , cried and fought with each other ... Like every other couple they had their ups and downs ..but they survived .. never realizing that time was slipping away from their fists.

One day, he was reminded of those promises. He was told to make a choice -- a choice where She was not an option. Now he had to go. He had to go and he would be never coming back. Never would he scold her and fight with her. He would not be there to listen to her endless rants about here and there. He was leaving her alone and would never come back to give her advices and suggestion. He would not hold her anymore like he would hold her before.

She knew this day was approaching. But she did not want to come in terms with the fact that the day had already arrived. She did not want to let him go. Logically, it was the correct thing to do. He would be keeping his promises. She would be meeting expectations of people who loved her, had from her.

Why couldn't everyone want the same thing? Why couldn't they have their families and each other also? Why choose?? Love brings happiness for some and pain for some. Some struggle and fight and win. Then there are some like She and Him who give up.. who do not show up to the world. But still had an honest love story.

We will not discuss why they did not fight. Lets leave the story at that. Lets just pray that all love stories end happily and that She and Him are the last couple to go their separate ways not because they did not want to be together but unfortunately because nobody wanted them to be together.