While I sit in here surfing the net, my father is in the same room praying, singing bhajans. I some how feel a little guilty because I dont pray "per say" with my hands joined and all that. I dont remember the last time I visited a temple. Very truly speaking I dont get the "peace of mind" which people claim to obtain while they are in a temple. I mean I have visted the Gurudwara quite frequently in NOIDA and althouh it feels good , there is no inner peace kind of thing. I have never spoken this out loud even to myself and my parents also dont know about this. Actually nobody knows this fact about me --- I dont beilive in "Murti Pooja". Infact I figured this about myself some few days ago. Although it feels a little weird to have an altogether different sets of thought than most of the rest of the socity, I am happy that I have cleared this thing about myself to myself. But that really does not mean that I am a non beilever in God. I do very very strongly believe in Him. Its just that I dont think that standing in front of a statue would do me any good. I very firmly believe in Karma. I think that if I help a person and make him happy and change his life in even the most little way, thats my pooja. Thats my way way of bowing my head in front of God and thanking him for every little blessing He has showered on me. When I hurt someone, when somebody is upset because of me, thats when I am also hurting God. I fully realize that.When I have an exam or an interview, do i really need to stop by a temple?? Cant i just ask for God's blessings on the move? They say that God is omnipresent ...right? So that pretty much solves the problem.
I believe in You God and you know that. Only, for me, You are not in those statues or photographs, but you are that voice in my head who scold me everytime I fight with papa and keeps stinging me throughout the day when I use words like fuck!! You are the inspiration within me who tells me to help a needy and open an orphange. I respect life given by Him and thats the reason I dont eat non veg. I mean its not the dharma bhrasht thing or something. Its just that the idea of eating something (or body) after killing it is so repulsive. What about those people who kill animals, savour them and then claim to be devotees??
I have been faced with the jokes of being the most "non brahmin" among all my non brahmin friends. It pinched earlier, when I was not clear with my beliefs and thoughts. But, now .... not any more. Infact, maybe, after putting this in writing , I am making this more clear to myself.
I may not be lighting a diya, and not be knowing about the various tyohars (which according to some of my friends I must ...)but i know that the biggest prayer to God and the biggest way to Thank God is to be a good human being.
Now only if everyone was so intelligent as me ... ;)
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