Let's talk about Feminism -- Day 15

Feminism -- this is how Wikipedia describes it: 

 Feminism is a collection of movements and ideologies that share a common goal: to define, establish, and achieve equal political, economic, cultural, personal, and social rights for women. This includes seeking to establish equal opportunities for women in education and employment.

 Equality. Not an upper hand, not subjugation. Treat everyone as individuals. Good, bad; competent, incompetent; Let there be no exceptions. There are girls who are amazing in mathematics and boys who are bad drivers. We want you to treat us with respect and dignity – the same that you expect from us. It is okay if you don’t get up and offer your seat to us. Actually, we don’t even want your seats. But we want you to stop staring at us. We want you to mind your own business and let us mind ours. We want you to behave as respectable gentlemen –not too much to ask for, isn’t it?

If Man A and Woman A work equally hard and are on the same position, pay them equally. If he is better than her, then by all means promote him. Make the decision purely on the basis of the competency and nothing else.

Now let us talk about why we are talking about feminism. That is because suddenly, the whole idea of feminism has become extremely confusing. What are we standing for?  What are we standing against? Contrary to the popular belief, feminism does not label all men as villains. In fact, we look for your support. We want you to stop that friend of yours from staring a random girl’s ass. We hope that you teach your younger brother the same values that you stand for. Start small, they say. We look at the men to start from where they are standing. Trust me, if everyone does their part, it would make a huge difference.

Since the past few weeks, feminism has become about morality. No! How did this even become topic of discussion?  Of course there is a video. Definitely it is popular. It has a “Bollywood heroine” in it. If you want to grab eyeballs in India, catch hold of a film star or a cricketer and you have your publicity served fresh on a platter. On second thoughts, if I were in the video and said the same things, would anyone bother? 

Let’s talk about the video. Yes, accept our bodies. If you encourage me to lose weight because you are concerned about my health, I will welcome your suggestion. But if you talk to me about how fat have I become, while combing the hair of your pot belly, then I have the full right to ignore you.

Cheating in a relationship is wrong – enough said. A lot of effort, time and heart is put into any relationship. More often than not, the movies are wrong. One does not find the right person walking through gentle breeze and background song. “If it’s right, it’s right” –the movies preach. I say if it feels right, it takes a lot of effort to keep it right.  But why am I even talking about cheating and relationships here? I repeat --this is not what feminism is.

However I am not sure how many are able to see the irony of the whole situation. One very popular woman dared to (and pay close attention here) read out a bold script and the whole bunch of people stands up to correct her. The content is wrong, no two ways about it– but maybe look at it this way. Maybe all she is trying to say, or rather all that the writer of the script is trying to say is, women are entitled to the same mistakes as men. Equality –see? Of course she then deserves the same punishment. No two ways about that either.

  

Anyway, personally I think I am blessed.  Like everyone else, I also need feminism.  I need to be seen as an individual. I don’t need to be applauded for just going to work, coming back home and cooking dinner. But I am blessed because I have been given the freedom of being an individual and make my mark. Fortunately, Deepika Padukone has also been given this opportunity and as much as I can understand from being an ardent bollywood fan, she has nailed the opportunity. So have many women around me. The people who need the feminist movement are probably completely unaware of the video.

A woman who is “not allowed” to work outside because her husband earns enough, needs feminism. The man who is termed a loser in society because his wife earns better than him need feminism.  The many countless girls who are not allowed education, the child brides, the woman who is still forced to give birth to a boy child --- these people need feminism more than us.

In the meanwhile, we can all calm ourselves down. Vogue got the attention it had aimed for. Now, maybe , it's time to focus on the real issue at hand.

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PS: For the uninitiated, Here is the link of the said video.