Thursday, March 19, 2015

The unconquered devil -- Day 4




While going through the news today, I read about the Mathematics and Physics board papers being really difficult. I have not been able to shake off the uneasiness from the article. That's how much I was terrorized of Maths. Even after a decade, when I learn that the paper was tough, I sweat. "What if I was there!" I think. I still get that queasy feeling, before an interview or before anything important in my life. I call that feeling "The pre-maths exam feeling"

To this date, I either blindly take the change given to me or turn to the husband with a questioning look. Every single time, he smiles and whispers the figures that I should get back. I never participate in splitting the bill and again, blindly hand over or accept whatever is the amount. Because, I know how futile the attempt to try would be. I still get confused with linear equations and mostly calculate the age of the mother to be lesser than the daughter. My father still laughs at that. Talking about my father, well, if I could pass any of those mathematics papers, it was all thanks to him. He would be after me , endlessly, tirelessly, helping me solve every single problem, understand every single logic and basically help me keep my head up to survive.

I used to hate those girls in my school who would get full marks in maths and although it is not a big deal or even unusual to get full marks in maths, for me, it was a completely unknown zone. How do they do it, I would wonder. Actually , no I would not hate the toppers, because unfortunately all these were my really good friends. I remember one annoying incident though. I guess it was 9th Standard. I was still a pretty decent student. Our mathematics teacher was called Girija Warrior. Yup! A warrior she was. She was actually a very sweet lady. Anyway, so after I believe the second terms, Girija warrior announces in the class, "Bad performance girls. No full score in this section this time. Only one girl got 99 and a half." I obviously did not bother about the second half of the information, but the first half rattled me. "How bad is this bad performance? I hope I pass!" After she dismissed the class, the girl I used to sit with, started crying.

"What happened?" I asked.
"What if I am not the one who got those 99 and a half?" She said, sobbing,

I am glad hitting each other in school was not taught to us. I mean, seriously girl? Here I am, worrying about scoring at least 40 on 100 and you are crying? like real tears out of your eyes on a what if? What if you don't get 99 and a half?

I turned. I didn't answer her, I didn't console her, I didn't talk to her. No. I hated such people then and I hate such people now. If you are extra ordinary and you know you are extra ordinary, please don't cry in front of an average student who struggles to pass. I mean I understand every one sets a standard for themselves and one gets disappointed if those standards are not met. But can you please take those high standards home and not scare already scared children?

I know! I know! It is unfair of me to blame her. After all she was a good student looking for perfection. She was crying out of fear, I don't know her situation, what if she was under tremendous pressure to perform blah blah --yes! I get it.

Anyway, I never got along with the nasty subject and I am glad I don't have to study it any more. Nor do I have to apply it except basic calculations. Seriously, what was the point of learning log tables and proving a theorem which said that 2 parallel lines meet at infinity? At least and thankfully I never had to use it. I am sure mathematicians find practical application of their knowledge. Good for them.

The news article opened a box of unpleasant, yet when-you-look-back-you-laugh memories.It also made me extremely extremely thankful. Thank God I am done with all this. Thank God I was not one among those students who gave the exams. Because I am thoroughly aware of how utterly torturous are those 3 hours when you know nothing in a paper. If any 12th standard student is reading this, all I can say is, from the bottom of my heart, I will pray for you. I know the pain.

Before I end this, that sobbing girl? She indeed got her 99 and a half. I remember her properly, I know her name. Of course I won't take it.

So this was day 4 of my blogging challenge and I hope it continues. Till then , if you, my reader want me to blog about something particular, please leave a few suggestions. I can surely use one!

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