Sunday, March 29, 2015

Shit people say -- Day 9



Here are a few things that people have said to me, in real life. Some are stupid, some are outrageously stupid. I have tried to rank them but the ranking is purely subjective. Feel free to rank them according to what you think is the shittiest.


7) College Classmate: I screwed my papers. I am really scared of the results.
Me : So Am I.
Classmate : But you are a girl.
Me : So? To the examiner I am just a roll number
Classmate : Yes, but if you fail and don't get a job, it will still be okay
Me : Why? Because I can marry someone rich? Isn't failing and passing about an individual student and not about boys and girls?
Classmate : Sorry, I didn't mean it in the wrong way.

Actually, I am with this guy on this one. If stereotypes put women under pressure to "look pretty", it also puts the men under the scanner to "earn well" or one labelled a loser. So although I scared him away with my feminism movement, I did understand his worries.


6) Random aunty at Delhi airport (whom I knew 20 seconds ago ) : How much do you earn?
Me (Surprised, shocked) : Not much.
Aunty : My son's package is 20 Lakhs. How much is yours?
Me : I think I will sit near the terminal gate. Happy Journey!

More about this story -- I was moving base from Delhi to Bangalore and was on call talking to a friend saying my good byes. When I hung up, the aunty who was obviously eavesdropping, asked me where I was going. When I said Bangalore -- to work, her very next question was what I stated above. So when I say I knew her for 20 seconds, I am not exaggerating.

5) Friend (Looking at a rather effeminate colleague) *Whispers* : I think he is 'that'
Me : Huh? "that' what?
Friend : That ya ... You know what I mean
Me : So say it out loud (Sorry, no twilight references intended). 'Gay' is not a bad word!
Friend :  *Rolls Eyes* Ya Ya!!

4) An annoying relative : How much do you earn?
Me : Enough to survive
Relative (Making a face) : Oh look at the answer "Enough to survive"
Relative (To my father): You made a huge mistake by educating this one.
Me : *Goes to check what century are we living in*

3) Someone : Girls should stay away from taking decisions about business and money. You people should let us men handle such things.
Me : *Runs to check what century are we living in*

2) Colleague : We lost the match because of Anushka Sharma.
Me: (to self) Don't lose your calm ..it is okay.
Me (To Him) : "How? She was not supposed to play, Virat was"
Colleague : Yes, But whenever there is a guy's girlfriend around, then he would want to impress her. He played that stupid shot like a hero -- proved himself to be a fool. Yes, she should not have come. He could have concentrated better.

So I am guessing the next time this guy does not get a good rating in his appraisal, he will blame his girl friend.


1) Me : Did you hear about the guy who was gay and married a woman and now wants separation?
Friend : Seriously, at least he should have got himself treated.
Me : Huh? Treated for? Being gay is not a disease, you know that, don't you?
Friend : No, you are mistaken. When there is a problem in the hormones, one turns gay.
Me : *facepalm*




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