Raaz 3???

Why? Dont ask! I just went to watch this movie. I will not put the answer in record here. Ask me personally if you want to. How was the experience? So, let me think! Slutty Bipasha Basu --Not interested! Some unknown Esha Gupta -- Not interested. Imran Hashmi --- WHY!!!!! Who looked at him and told him ... "Sir!!! Aap to bilkul hero jaise lagte ho! Filmo main kyun nahi try karte!" Whoever he is, he is a bigger culprit than Imran Hashmi himself! A movie claiming to be scary -- Does NOT solve the purpose.
Anyway, as far the story goes, it’s a truck load of ghost crap. Bipasaha Basu is an ex-successful, now failing actress (This movie has to belong to the other realm, because it is only in some weirdo, slutty world that slutty Bipasha can be successful!) , who is de-throned by Esha Gupta. Bipasaha does not like it when she again loses some idiotic award to Esha , she walks off the award function. That's when her wafadar ex-naukar walks up to her and says, "Ye aapki nahi Bhagwaan ki haar hai" and hence takes her to Tara Dutt, the shaitan (And they just added dark circles to the guy's under eyes to show he is a shaitan! I TAKE MAJOR OFFENCE IN THIS ... Mr.BHATT!!! MAJOR OFFENCE!!!! ) Anyway, what follows is the only ... "Oh Shucks" moment of the entire movie when he goes inside a room and then comes again from behind Slutty Bipasha's back. And oh by the way, the real Shaitan Tara Dutt (why does he have such a gay-ey name!) is a red coloured super duper ultra yucky monster with insects crawling over him. Gross! NOT SCARY!! So he blows into some unhygenic water and makes it all the more un-hygenic and gives it SB (Slutty Bipasha Ofcourse!) to give it to her rival Esha who, on drinking the water will start seeing ghosts and whatever and whatever So SB seduces Mr.Long tongue Imran Hashmi and convinces him to give it to Esha Gupta.
So, Mr.Long Tongue makes friends with Esha and keeps giving her the shaitan spit (actually blown ...but who knows, there can be spit ...yakk!!) water and that's when the "so-called" scare game begins. She starts getting weird, scary dreams, cannot concentrate on her work and shit like that. Now when things go out of hand, enters some so called Pandit who says that let's have an adventurous night out at a kabristan and we will try to help Esha out. So, off they go for the picnic in the cemetery. Now the resolution to the issue is that Esha's soul is captured in "aatmaon ki duniya" and Pandit ji will go there and bail her out! So ...Mr.Bhatt here needs to know that the soul resides within us and if the soul has gone to another realm, then the physical body ceases to exist. Fundey hile hue hain I tell you!! So now Pandit Ji ties his hands to Esha's and off he goes to the land of souls. *drum rolls please* because now comes the idiotic-est part of the story! There in the land of souls, Esha becahri ki aatma is literally chained and when Pandit ji tries to free her, Keede wala Shaitan Tara Dutt, chops off his head.
Oh and while all this is happening, SB is playing the piano. Arey jab aata hai Piano bajana and you are a flop heroine then why not become a music director? Why so much nautanki!! Anyway, so after this head chopping session, becahri Esha is all hysterical and *drum rolls please*, because here comes another stupid part of the movie when Mr.Long Tounge Hashmi, shoves his toung down Becahri Esha's throat to calm her down. Chiii! Bad boy!! I mean really, you have just seen the grosiest thing in your life and you can still make love that passionately? Well!! I don’t know!
So now SB is becoming bad day by day and she puts up these hysterics and ROFLs on her white carpet and in the end becomes lady Rajnikanth by opening a locked door with one kick and another with one push of the hand. Although you think that the film cannot get any stupider, here are two awesome examples.
1) The ghost in all his keeda makauda yucky slimy avtaar asks SB to make love to him and how does he puts forth the proposal? "ek zinda aurat jo ek zinda mard ke sath karti hai, woh karegi tu mere sath" How decent na!!! It makes you go awwwwww! *BIG SMIRK* IDIOTS!!!!

2) The much talked about cockroach scene. What does a normal girl do in the following circumstances?

A) When you are already being haunted and you are alone in a huge wash room and you hear weird noises, will you run or will you shove your head inside the source of the noise?

B) When you have cockroaches all over you, will you cover up and run or will you shout, with mouth wide open and take off your clothes to expose more skin for them to sit on?

Seriously! Who asks the entire Bhatt clan to make movies? Why can’t they just go to the porn industry and make bad movies there?

I know this is one heck of a long post ... thanks for the patience!

PS: I will not put a poster here because I don’t want slutty Bipasha's pics on my blog anywhere!