Stares

“Tell me honestly, haven’t you been preparing for interviews?” asked Ajay, adjusting his right leg on the sofa.
“No!! Seriously! I am just brushing up my basics. We need it!” I said.

When was the last time I sat down with a few people to just talk? I had to strain myself and still no answer would come out. It felt good that after so long, my friends and I were lounging at my house.


Maybe it was too late. Or maybe we were too noisy. Although I do remember shutting the door of my room. I am sure something was wrong, because we woke up Grand ma.
I was distracted by the opened door. Grand ma was standing there, without making any noise. Age had shriveled her up. She was staring at all of us as if she was seeing us for the first time. Maybe, she hadn’t seen me interacting with my friends earlier. Her hair was disheveled and she was making no effort to put those grey strands back to their place. She was wearing a red sari with a dark red border. It covered her carelessly. You cannot expect an 80 year old to be dressed perfectly. She had her red bindi on her forehead. She still looked beautiful.

“Grand Ma?” I said “Sorry did we disturb you?”
Ajay turned to see whom was I talking to. He turned back.
“Whom are you talking to?”
“Right! Silly of me! People! That’s my grand mom. Grand Ma... They are all my office friends.”
Deepika and Ajay looked at each other.
“ok That’s not funny .. I get scared with such jokes. Cut it out” Said Deepika.
“Hey that is my Grandmother. What is wrong with you?” I laughed.
“There is no one standing out there” Ajay said.
“Ok Enough. Come sit Grand Ma”

She was walking very slowly towards me. I got up to help her. Her skin was too cold to touch.

“God Grand ma! You are freezing. Do you want to sleep in a blanket?”
Ajay and Deepika got up.
“I think we will leave” Ajay said. Deepika was already walking past me.
“Wait up guys, this is weird.” I said.
“Yes it is” Ajay said, reaching for his backpack.

I shrugged.
How can they get scared of my Grand ma? She is the sweetest lady ever.
I looked back at grand ma. She was still staring at me, as if she wanted to say something.
“Are you ok Grand Ma? I asked. She did not say anything.
“You are too cold Ma. I’ll get you a blanket” I said as I went out of the room.

It was a little difficult to understand what was happening when I came back to my room where Grand Ma was sitting on the sofa. I had heard of people doing head stand. For the first time, I saw someone sitting on their head.
“Grand Mom?” I said, the blanket falling from my hands. My legs started to take me away from her, without me even realizing it. “Sit comfortably Ma! How are you even doing this?”
She was still staring.
“Grand Ma .. It is going to pain. Please sit properly”

Did I miss something? When did she stand in front of me, her eyes staring me down to my soul? They did not feel like my grand ma’s eyes. They were cold, two stones in a white sea.

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I find myself sitting beside my father. The room is dark. I don’t know if the curtains are pulled down or there are no lights at all. Dad is holding grand ma’s head , raising it slightly to give her some water. Her eyes are closed. She is not taking the water in. Her face is full of blisters. Were Deepika and Ajay right? How did I forget that Grand Ma had been fighting her illness since a year? How did I forget that her blister face frightened me so much that I had stopped going in her room?
Her skin was clear when she came to meet me in my room last night, or was it just some time back? I do not know.
I am lost in my thoughts while father puts her back in bed. My eyes wander. I don’t like to see Grand Ma this way.
My eyes have stopped to wander. They widen looking at her, as she stands there in the same sari, her skin clear of any blister, her red bindi back on her face. She still stares. Back in the bed, father had covered her face with a bedsheet.

A chill runs through my spine …and I wake up.