Amber's Poem

Amber or better known as Ambika or Ambi to the world has written the following beautiful poem. She will not publish it any where. She might not like me publishing it here as well. But here is the deal. I think she is a wonderful writer, but she writes once in 7 months or so. I know my blog is not famous but I am sure that it will be read by atleast 3 other people once it is put up here. I just want to tell her that she is an amazing writer ...all she needs is a little honing up. I hope she listens to me for once.


Waking up to your face
Lighting up as I see the rays
Held closely in your arms
In no other way do I feel safe

The emotion that people call love
I wonder how true it really is
Because when I see the bond we share
There is so much more that defines it

If there was ever to be a day without you
Dullness would cloud the sunshine
I know words are just hollow noises
But my heart knows why God made you mine


I hope she doesn't get mad at me for doing this :)
You are the best Amber ..try sticking on to it.

Friends

They had hardly anything to say to each other. Maybe it was the overwhelming memories or probably the lack of it. A lot changes after 15 years. She was slowly tracing the edge of her coffee mug and he was shaking his leg, looking everywhere else. After an uncomfortable silence of what seemed like the longest minute, Rashi looked up. He had got a receding hair line and wrinkles on his face now, although his dressing sense was still impeccable. “So?” She smiled and he looked at her. “How have you been?”

“Good.” Rajeev said.

“Just Good?” She teased.

“Very Happy!” He said, emphasizing on very.

“You did manage to find a pretty wife for yourself.” She said trying to hide her smile but ended up giggling like she used to, in college, he observed.

“So you really thought no girl would accept my proposal?” He smiled, remembering their little bickering in the corner table of their college canteen.

“Of course! You were so annoying!”

“Excuse me! Girls used to find me charming. Remember Pallavi?”

“Pallavi?” She crinkled her nose, thinking hard.

“The girl in Arts class?” He raised his eyebrows.

“Oh that Bimbette!”She said and laughed, throwing her head back.

He looked at her. Age had taken over her.Yet, she still reminded him of the crazy Rashi he had known fifteen years ago. “Yes. She was a little off!” He said and laughed too.

“And who was that jerk you were crushing on?” Rajeev asked wiping his tears of laughter. “Rahil! Right? He wagged his finger.

“Oh come on! It’s been fifteen years! You cannot tease me with that name anymore!”

“Fifteen years really?" He looked at her as if someone had pushed him out of a trance. "For a minute there, I had
almost forgotten.” He smiled shaking his head.

“So had I.” She smiled back.

“Are you in touch with the gang?”

“No … Everyone got busy.” She said. He could figure the sadness in her voice.

Fifteen years had passed of leaving college, struggling with life, keeping up with deadlines and figuring out life. Marriage, family, kids and their friends were now the center of their lives. Their own lives, friends and memories had taken a back seat. Rashi and Rajeev used to be part of the same friends group, the same class bunking, table banging, fighting yet loving each other to the core group. But promises break. You lose contact and life takes over. But there is a beauty of friendship. Even after fifteen years of no contact, they could pick up from where they last left.

The Vidai

I am not the emotional kinds. Or so I think. I am a cancerian from sunsign. Cancerians are supposed to be homely. They are extremely attached to their families and prefer staying at home. I am a bit different. I prefer travelling, meeting new people and taking in new experiences, and so I am not the one who frequents her home town ever so often. As I said, I am not the emotional kinds. So much that when I was getting married and my mom would get teary eyed about me "going away" , I would never get the logic. "But Mom, I am already away!" I would say. And I seriously believed in that. Mom would always shake her head in dissapointment . "You will never understand." That time, I really did not.  Honestly, Mom cries so much that I might one day feel bad when I would be leaving home after a visit and she wont cry. Also, I am bad at consoling crying people. I never know what to do with them. So, when I was finally getting "vida" after marriage and Mom started crying, I was only cracking my usual jokes. With Mom, that's the best that I can do.
    Where was Dad among all this? I wasn't even sure. The worst part was that I didn't mind. I have always seen Dad as a Maths Book or a physics book or maybe an Investment Guru -- full of knowledge but no emotions. Not that he is devoid of all emotions, But he is either happy or angry -- never sad. Somehow I like this thing about Dad. Sadness, unlike happiness or anger (which goes away) settles down somewhere deep inside your heart and can come up again -- at the wrong time, the wrong place. Sadness makes you bitter.
    Coming back to the vidai, I was now the part of a new family and I was sitting in the bus (which was to take us to the station) ready to leave.  As I said, I had not met Dad, After some 2 minutes of going in, Mom called me outside. "Dad's here" She said. I went down to touch his feet -- something I always do before leaving. However this time, to my utter disbelief/shock/consternation, Dad had tears in his eyes. His voice was groggy. He had his hands joined in front of Rahul, while he was requesting him to really take care of his daughter. For a minute or so, I did not understand what was happening! He is not supposed to cry. Heck!! He makes people cry!
     I have fought with my Dad every single day of my life. I have agrued and shouted. I have huffed, puffed, stomped my feet, banged the doors and walked out of the room. He would shout back, making me realize who is the "Father". That, somehow made things alright. In some time, we were back to normal.
     That day however, for the first time I realized that Dad was far beyond calculus, formula derivations and share market. He was a father at heart, who preferred not to show it, probably like many other fathers in the world.
    It was not about "going away" after all. It was the feeling of his daughter getting disassociated, giving her away to a new family. Even today, not much has changed. I still talk to him, still roll my eyes when he begins his lectures and I still talk back. But deep down, I do realize his love for me better than I did for all these years.