Were you as a child , told to eat your food or else the big bad policemen would take you away? Did you wait on Christmas, late in the night to meet Santa Claus? I remember my dad's logic for making me go to bed early. "Your toys need time to play. They can come alive only after you sleep... So sleep!" He told me. Also, this was way way before Toy story. I am not sure if he even knows about the movie series. Of course, I believed him! When I realised my father's little story was nothing but a cute lie only to instill discipline in me, I was disappointed. It would have been fun to see the toys come to life in the drawing room where they very meticulously kept in a line. Do they remember their order in the line , I would wonder. I remember tumbling 1-2 toys before going to bed, just to see how I would find them in the morning. That my mother would rearrange them before I got up was a different story.
After I grew up, I made a promise to myself. I would never lie to my children. I will tell them that there is no santa claus and that they would not be taken away by policemen if they don't eat their greens. But should they grow up and decide to become police men /women themselves, they would not be able to run behind a thief with no healthy food in their system. Tell them the truth! They might find you boring or maybe harsh in the beginning but they are bound to understand you when they grow up.
Somehow, my mindset is now changing. Maybe a little harmless lie is okay to be told to a child. Not because its the easy way out, but because with every little lie, there is a take away. Santa leaves gift only for the nice, leaving the naughty. Not saying Thank you can be a bit allergic (this is the funniest of lie ever told by a parent!) and eating chocolates in the night can bring bad dreams (until they learn the importance of dental hygiene!) When every word that you say shapes up an entire personality, you have to pick them very carefully and hand them over to a little one who looks up to you and at least for a few years, believes you to be perfect! I will tell my child about Santa claus, about fairies and about the pot of gold at the end of rainbow. Let them listen with their eyes wide open. Let them believe, let them hope, let them imagine and after a few years , let them make a choice.
I am not a parent yet, but I guess you have to know where to draw the line. Picking up another of my own childhood story, my nursery teacher would threaten us that if we did not stop wailing, we would be fed to her 2 huge bull dogs. I was taken there once too, and I remember being too scared to even cry. How did that affect me? Until just a year ago, I was terrified of dogs. Actually not even a year ....I am still scared of dogs though I don't show it anymore. I mean , I had recurring dreams of dogs running after me. Thankfully, 2 days back, I dreamt that I was playing fetch with 2 adorable puppies. So I would now like to believe that the fear is subsiding.
Talking about useful lies, I met a pair of new parents in a train , enroute to bhopal. Their child was OBSESSED with the I-pad. Actually for his age of 2.5 years he was a genius with the gadget. But at the end of the day he was still a child who needed his rest , his food and his time off the I pad. After a lot of persuasion, love and a bit of anger display, when the parents just could not separate the boy and his toy, the father stealthily switched the I-pad off and told the son , "The battery ...gone!" No Battery ..See!!" Then, and only then did the child sleep and peep out of the window to see the scenery outside. Phew!! Only then, even we could sleep! A very useful lie I say!
So maybe I will lie to my child. He/She will definitely grow up to know that it was just a cute lie to make him learn a lesson or two. I am sure after he/she grows up to be 18, 19 or 20 we will both laugh at it, like my father and I do today, over his toy lie. "At least you went to bed early" he says . I can't help but agree!
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