Rant!!

There was this team I used to work with. A part of it, I was handling single handed. I was moved out of that team. Part of it was my insistence and part circumstances. Gist being, as I write this now, I am no longer a part of that team. People still come to me with issues from the previous team and I oblige, again, partly out of good will and partly to have the satisfaction of solving a problem. When I was moved from this team to another, there was a FORMAL meeting to plan how things will work. Even after all this, I still get mails keeping everyone in loop, asking me to close defects.
My first reaction was that of anger. "How many times does he need to be told that I don't work in this team anymore" I muttered under my breath! Next , I wanted to do a "reply all" to that mail, stating the same , but worded a tad bit decently. I obviously didn't do that which got me thinking ... "What if we could live in a world where all that a person speaks is the truth and says it with all honesty? Even though it sounded humongously rude?"

Of course, it would be a bad place to live in! But I sometimes really want to do that. Somehow I am not very diplomatic. If I don't like a person, it comes in my behavior and if it is a very bad day for me and the other party, I say something super rude. The best and only solution I have is to shut myself up -- in every way. So I don't show up and even if I do, I don't really talk. And seriously, its better that way .. isn't it? I mean, I will definitely hurt someone if I say something really wrong ..Won't I? And all this may be only because of certain misunderstandings and prejudices I am harboring within me. I might not want to clear those misunderstandings, for whatever reasons, but its better that the other party "assumes" something is wrong in my behavior and bids me a mental adieu. Intelligent people get my clue and side themselves from me and I go on living my life with people I know, love and like.

Honestly, I am not here to get myself loved and liked by every Tom/Dick and Harry and their female versions. All that matters is that I don't hurt anyone in my social filtering process, even if that is the person I hate -- because however bad I can be, I can never smile at someone's tears, especially when I have given them. Thus .. seclusion seems to be the best way out.

Of course I am saying this knowing fully well that such a kind of behavior can render me friendless. But, Is it not better to be alone than be surrounded by people who you don't find worth hanging around with? And as I have always maintained, being alone does not being lonely.

This post is probably the most negative one I have written in days. Something is very very wrong with me!!