Motherhood

I may be the worst mother in the world. No, I don't hate my kids. But sometimes, just sometimes, I wish them away. Sometimes, I want peace ..maybe just for a few moments. I want to read a book without having to attend to two wailing , crying children. I want to sleep peacefully ...not catch up with a quick nap and wake up with a start to find out that one has probably pushed another and the other is now nursing a bleeding knee -- a situation when it is difficult to decide whom to whack, if that was an option at all!

Unlike many other women, I was scared to death when I realized I was pregnant. My fear knew no bounds when I realized I was expecting twins. Suddenly, my husband and I were not the cool couple who could go out anywhere and anytime they wanted to. My children did bring a lot of joy in my life. For a fraction of second when someone asks a silly question (Mom, Why do you and dad live together, Mom, why is the moon following me, Can I color the leaves blue mama? ) or when I have small hands wrapped around me for a hug. It seems beautiful like a dream. But then it all crashes down and hits the floor with a thud!! After sometime one has spilled milk on the new table cloth and the other is barfing away all his food to glory.

Maybe, my kids are special -- special in creating a ruckus everywhere they go. Despite many lessons, in every way a lesson can be given, the son ends up getting a note from his teacher, talking about how hyperactive he is. The daughter is a tad bit behaved , at least when it comes to behaving in public. Thankfully! At home however, she is brash and rowdy. Once she came to me with the weirdest statement I was to hear in my 30 years of life. "Mom, there is cake in my ear! " She said. "You have a what, where"? I asked, baffled!

"A cake in my ear."

Just to be sure, I checked. And sure enough, my little girl was right. There it was, a tiny piece of chocolate cake in her ear.

"Baby?", I turned her towards me and sat to her level. " Why is there cake in your ear?" I asked her, half amused, half angry and shocked.

"I gave my ear a little piece of my friend's birthday cake." She said.

"The birthday you went in yesterday?"

"Yes", she said , completely nonchalant.

"So this piece of cake was in your ear since last evening?"

"Hmm Hmm"

I took a deep breath. "Why did you 'give a little piece' of cake to your ear, sweety?" I asked, with the most honest curiosity and concern.

"We give our mouths food to eat. But we never give anything to our ears. They must feel hungry too, won't they?" She asked.

I was not sure if I should be shocked anymore.


It's difficult to bring up children, specially when you realize that you are not only raising children. You are dealing with two individuals, of minds and personalities of their own and every little decision you take, concerning them or even yourself, will shape their course and make the adults that they will be. Parent hood has its own ups and downs.But this is not a job where you can slack ...even for a moment, because obviously you responsible for an entire human life. Or as in my case, two.

That's the pressure that sometimes I just cannot take. and maybe that's why I am the worst mother in the world. I think I must go ... I hear screeching and wailing noises ... why do they sound so familiar?


Addendum : Ok .. This is seriously funny!! I have had TWO of my really good friends asking me if that is me in the "I" of that post !! S here is the real deal -- this incident is something which I discussed me with my sister and the cake incident is a dialouge between her and her daughter Lona. Only, in reality there was a samosa in her ear! I hope things are clear now :)