And someday someone comes along,
holds your hand.
Promises to be with you forever
promises to understand.

And one day he shrugs off your hand,
suddenly you no longer exist.
The days, the moments, the memories look faraway
slipped away through your fist.

And you realize there is no point waiting
So you turn back and start walking
wishing with the core of your heart
that they would stop you
hoping that they would turn back and look at you go.

You spend your days in tears,
not caring about the world
Not caring whats happening around
not listening to other people's words.

you drown yourself in work
hoping to find a refuge
but your mind still wanders back in time,
the pain keeps coming back as grime.

and you cry yourself to sleep everyday
promising that you would not cry anymore
you practice a fake smile in front of the mirror
its okay if you feel fake, feel abhor.

you hope for that one day,
when friends say "One day, it'll all be fine"
you still wait hoping that one day you will get back your smile
when really one day, it'll all will be fine.

Being crazy ...

I am named crazy by my friends ... I dont know why! I am perfectly normal ...as normal can be. But I have always wanted to be super crazy. When I used to go the movies all by myself in Noida, people thought I was crazy. I thought it was perfectly logical. I used to have offs during weekdays when my other friends were in office. So I used to go hang around in malls and then watch movies alone. Why wait or worse, miss a movie just because I have no company! Sounds selfish does it? I dont really know. But it was non-crazy for me.
Here's a secret. I always wanted to backpack and go to the nearby hill stations for a getaway all alone when I was in Delhi. There were numerous times when I would make plans. I wanted to switch off the phone and just take off! I could unfortunately never collect the guts to do so. It still remains a dream ... away from the civilization with no one knowing me and I knowing no-one.
I believe life is not meant to live watching it pass by. We need to LIVE it. Explore, travel, meet people , experience and make memories. Instead we are stuck in little cubicles, working for people across seven seas and typing gibberish on black unix screens.
What I want to really say is that I am not going to remember these codes, issues and defects in my deathbed. I am going to and would want to remember the amazing sunrises and sunsets I have seen in my life. I would want to remember the crazy rides or probably that one time when I missed my train and decided to take a detour. I would want to remember the sights, the smells ,the tastes that made me smile from the heart .... In my deathbed, I would want to remember moments when I experienced life ...and the craziness of it!
May there be lots of love in the world ...