And someday someone comes along,
holds your hand.
Promises to be with you forever
promises to understand.

And one day he shrugs off your hand,
suddenly you no longer exist.
The days, the moments, the memories look faraway
slipped away through your fist.

And you realize there is no point waiting
So you turn back and start walking
wishing with the core of your heart
that they would stop you
hoping that they would turn back and look at you go.

You spend your days in tears,
not caring about the world
Not caring whats happening around
not listening to other people's words.

you drown yourself in work
hoping to find a refuge
but your mind still wanders back in time,
the pain keeps coming back as grime.

and you cry yourself to sleep everyday
promising that you would not cry anymore
you practice a fake smile in front of the mirror
its okay if you feel fake, feel abhor.

you hope for that one day,
when friends say "One day, it'll all be fine"
you still wait hoping that one day you will get back your smile
when really one day, it'll all will be fine.

Being crazy ...

I am named crazy by my friends ... I dont know why! I am perfectly normal ...as normal can be. But I have always wanted to be super crazy. When I used to go the movies all by myself in Noida, people thought I was crazy. I thought it was perfectly logical. I used to have offs during weekdays when my other friends were in office. So I used to go hang around in malls and then watch movies alone. Why wait or worse, miss a movie just because I have no company! Sounds selfish does it? I dont really know. But it was non-crazy for me.
Here's a secret. I always wanted to backpack and go to the nearby hill stations for a getaway all alone when I was in Delhi. There were numerous times when I would make plans. I wanted to switch off the phone and just take off! I could unfortunately never collect the guts to do so. It still remains a dream ... away from the civilization with no one knowing me and I knowing no-one.
I believe life is not meant to live watching it pass by. We need to LIVE it. Explore, travel, meet people , experience and make memories. Instead we are stuck in little cubicles, working for people across seven seas and typing gibberish on black unix screens.
What I want to really say is that I am not going to remember these codes, issues and defects in my deathbed. I am going to and would want to remember the amazing sunrises and sunsets I have seen in my life. I would want to remember the crazy rides or probably that one time when I missed my train and decided to take a detour. I would want to remember the sights, the smells ,the tastes that made me smile from the heart .... In my deathbed, I would want to remember moments when I experienced life ...and the craziness of it!
May there be lots of love in the world ...

Tea for two (and a piece of cake) Tuesdays! (Creative Prompt by Preeti Shenoy)

So Preeti asked on her blog,


"If I could invite anybody for 'tea for two' today it would undoubtedly be .................................."

Here I go:
"If I could invite anybody for 'tea for two' today it would undoubtedly be Lance Armstrong" . He is the professional american cyclist who won the tour de france seven consecutive times, after having survived testicular cancer. I would want want to know what exactly goes inside the mind of a survivor and a winner. He is one of my biggest inspirations. I wish he would give me a tip or two on how to stand victorious on the face of hardships, however easy or difficult they maybe. I would love to learn how he blocks the pain, the fatigue and just thinks about his goal.

So for me, its going to be Lance Armstrong!! :)

Hitting the gym and other tragedies!

For me, going to the gym is a task, something which I just have to get done with. It’s like going to the office every day. Every single day, when my body refuses to get up from the bed, I tell myself, “Yaar, aaj chutti maar leti hoon” Only when I enter the office and get into the groove do i really feel, “Thank God! Office aa gayi. Ghar pe bore ho jaati.” Similarly, when I am supposed to get down from my cab which stops just in front of the sony signal, I tell myself, “Yaar, aaj nahi jaati ..kal se pakka jaungi. Only when I remind myself that I have given away my hard earned 20k for the Gold Gym people to enjoy, that i collect all the energy that is left in me and drag myself to the gym. But again after I enter the gym I feel, “Acha hua aa gayi.”

So, you might ask why I trouble myself so much even though according to many people, I do not “need” to go to the gym. This is where I say ... everybody needs to exercise. It does not matter if you are fat, thin, in shape, out of shape, young old or anything. Trust me. You NEED to exercise. I know I will NEVER exercise on my own. I may do so for 7 days, 10 days or maximum a month. But I will never fall in a pattern. Gym at least pushes me to work out 4 days a week which is fair enough... and hence the trouble.

I am not a fitness freak, but I have noticed those subtle changes in me after I made gym a regular practice. I fall ill very less (touch wood touch wood!!), I have built up a considerable amount of stamina (which comes under test when we go for those crazy trek trips) and if I exercise regularly, I get that coveted flat tummy (ahaaa! Such a proud moment that is ...which fades away quickly because unfortunately I am not that regular).
Seriously speaking, however traumatising and irritating it is for me to go to the gym, I go there also because when I cross 35, I do not want to turn into a shapeless aunty. Fat becomes extremely difficult to lose after 30. Also, women tend to put on weight very quickly near the tummy and thigh areas and this fat is the real adamant fat which just refuses to part ways. It is always a good idea to keep it away before it comes to stay.

I seriously hail those people who take exercising as a passion, who are extremely regular and end up having really fit bodies. If you are a gym hater-exercise-er like me, here is a useful tip which I came up with when I was totally demotivated and just could not find enough energy to drag my fat bum down to the gym. Even when you don’t feel like gymming, at least go to the gym. Maybe just do cardio. But go. Just watching people, all covered in sweat, working their ass off, would if not motivate you; will embarrass you enough to move atleast a little. I have been doing so since a week and only today after a long time can I really very proudly say, “Watt lag gayi aaj gym main”
Another tip: Avoid junk. Have it once a week. If you are really strong willed then have it just once a month. I am not that strong willed. I once had a voice in my head saying, “Quit eating maida. Consider it non veg”. Very quickly another voice said, “Shut up!!” I liked the second voice better and I let it win. But I still avoid maida as much as I can.
And as dad puts it, “You give your 9 hours to Target ( Thats the name of the company I work for ... just to avoid confusions!  ). I am asking you to give just 1 hour of your day to yourself!” Oh and yes, Dad is one more reason I exercise every day. Out of his 4 staple questions he asks me without fail daily (1) Aaj ka din kaisa tha?, Khana khaye?, aur kuch khaas?) One question ALWAYS is “Kuch exercise kiye?” I exercise also so that i can without any guilt tell him “Yes, I did!” (Although he considers only YOGA as real form of exercise and will take the first flight to Bangalore and kill me personally if he comes to know how much I have spent for a yearlong subscription!!)

I will conclude here, wishing at least one person gets inspired enough to exercise (Why should I suffer alone!! Hee Haa!!) And by quoting some quote I read somewhere “I will exercise today so I can enjoy tomorrow!”
Happy gymming!!!

Ek garam Chai!

It came in with the British Raj and stayed back forever. Although we Indians gave the "tea" own twist and made it into this amazingly,tasty, energetic drink. I dont even remember when I got addicted to it. But while I was in bhopal, every morning started with a cup of 'mom ke hath ki chai' and 2 slices of bread. Things have not changed even now when I visit home. I have realized that unless it is an extremely bad cup of tea, I can savor a cup anytime, any moment of the day or night for that matter. This especially reminds me of Noida when a hot cup of 'chai' was essential to get into your senses which were left numb by the merciless winters. I remember pouncing on to the little "tapri" of a shop for that elusive steaming cup of 'adrak ki chai' so that my nose can take in whatever little cold noida air that it could manage!

I am sure, everyone has more than one memorable "chai" moment. For me, the morning in Jim Corbett with Vibha comes first in my mind. Loveliest of sunrise, a hot cup of tea and an amazing friend/room partner! Life felt blissful.

Another one was the laddakhi chai at Khardung la pass --- the world's highest motor able road. The best part was the maagie which was accompanied with the already amazing tea. Again a beautiful place, super cold. nice friends , maggie and tea! What else can you ask for? Probably an entire hang out tea joint at apna very own Bangalore! That brings us to Chai Patty!

I had discovered this small cosy hang out joint at 100 feet when i was searching for a decent place to live in Bangalore. It maybe a tad bit expensive but I love the ambiance and again its maggie! The best day in Chai Patty was when it was pouring cats and dogs and I was sitting with a friend in one comfortable dry corner of Chai Patty, all sprawled about, listening to coke studio, ordering chai after chai and loving the rains! Then ofcourse, the long gappey session with friends over cups of innumerable tea is something which anyone and everyone can identify with.

I am the conventional one when it comes to tea. No tea bags or milk powder tea for me. No green teas and strictly no machine teas (I gulp some nakli machine tea in office just to remove the drowsiness)! Plain, simple, proper boiled, adrak or masala for added flavors is the best tea in the world. Give me that and give me a good book or a good movie and I have with me happiness wrapped in the daily ordinary life!

Year Ends ...

It’s that time of the year again… when people are ready to bid a farewell to the present year and welcome the next one, when invariably everyone, every year says, “Shit man!! This year passed so quickly!” It’s the time when you reflect on what happened, what was inevitable, what could have been changed and it is also the time of resolutions. No matter how short the span of our resolutions be, these little friends do dare to pop their head up every year. But, not for me you’re your honour. Saalo pehle , yours truly took a resolution which was “I will never take a resolution” and I am proud to say, I stick by it till today! See!! Some of us do not break our promises to ourselves! :) Please don’t take me wrong. I believe in new beginnings. But somehow trying to change on a new year and then finally not sticking to it had become such a cliché that I decided to refrain from it. And anyway, you do not need a change of a year to change yourself. You just need a change of your heart and strong will power.
As for me, 2011 was one hell of a year! City change, company change and actually an entire 180 degrees life change. This year would go down in my memory as the year when I met the most wonderful people and had some amazing trips. I can tell my kids “It was year 2011 when I saw Laddakh and when I went on my first trek trip which was followed by many others and did many other crazy things. “ I wish that later I will add “…. And kids, year 2012 was the year when I went to Europe for the first time.”

It’s that time of the year again. If a change of date triggers a change in you, so be it! Just make sure the change is for good. Gentlemen, throw that cigarette away. Trust me; it does not make you look cool. It makes you look weak and villanish. Ladies, lets bitch a little less! I know there is this “ajeeb sa sukoon” when we bitch, but really, we can cut that down … right?
Lets exercise, read, travel the world, throw away the anger and smile some more! Lets get in touch with old friends, revive the forgotten ones, eat some interesting cuisines and learn a new language! Lets just do whatever makes us happy!!

Have a happy, smiling, crackling, crazy new year!

If looks could kill ....

It would be wrong to say that I dont admire talent and beauty. Now that I am a pakka/normal/straight girl, I would re-write the statement as "It would be wrong to say that I dont admire talent and handsome-ness( I dont know if thats even a word!!) Getting straight to the point, I always had this idea of creating a list of my top ten handsome men and I have finally compiled one. So here goes:

1) John Abraham : Any one who even remotely knows me would know that this name had to be on the top of my list. There may be people better than him, he may not be a very decent actor, blah blah keep talking people! I am not listening. He is the world's hottest man hands down!

2) Ian Somerhalder: For people who dont know him, he plays Damon Salvatore in Vampire Diaries. He is the "Bad Guy" with a good heart and he is a dude!!! He is charming and witty and loving and caring and useless people like me keep wondering if he is going to get Elena (The female lead of Vampire Diaries) or not.

3)Farhan Akhtar: I really find him cute and funny. He simply has this genuine sense of humor without the desperate attempt of being funny. Probably that is what I like the best about him. And i am duly impressed that he is multitalented. I dont have to really write that. Acts, directs,sings and I am sure there are others as well and if you see carefully, he is quite good looking as well! Did I mention he has a wierdy nice voice?

4) Ali Zafar: Another good looking, talented singer. For his latest album Jhoom, he pulled off a one man show. He wrote the lyrics, sang the songs, composed and mixed the music and also acted in the video. I was a little disappointed with him in "Mere brother ki dulhan". I mean he can act and he has proved that in his videos. I dont know why did he under or probably over performed in MBKD. But I know he is a rockstar!

5) Hrithik Roshan: He is "theee most" good looking guy (But still John scores 'cos of the smile!! ). What I love about him is that he seems to be very down to earth and he comes across as a real good human being. I loved him .. like really loved him in Dhoom:2. However illogical the movie was, I can see it again and again only for him.

6)Paul Weasley: Now he is Stefan Salvatore from The Vampire Diaries. He is the good brother to Damon. Until the last season, he never killed a human being for blood and was all pro-humanity. But now Klaus (the original Vampire) has put him under compulsion and I will stop here before I start off with the VD story. Again he is good looking, loving .. extremely loving, protective and caring.. and HOT!! :) :)

7) Shah Rukh Khan: Yesterday I was watching DDLJ for the (n+1)th time. He is not your essentially good looking guy. But please notice the look on his face when he says "Duniya ka koi bhi ullu ka pattha tumhe ek angoothi pehna ke mujhse duur nahi kar sakta." If you still dont fall in love with SRK the reasons could be as follows :
1) Your BF is romantic-er than SRK (I am sure there is no such word again!)
2) You are super cold hearted
3) You are a boy
4) You like girls

SO SRK with his romantic gestures, his dimples and the fact that he is actually a self made man makes a place in my top 10.

8) Ranbir Kapoor: I like him only because he is good looking and talented. There is nothing extra "special" about Ranbir. He gets everything in the genes. So nothing worth mentioning about him. But all said and done he is a very good actor!

9)Arjun Rampal: He is exceptionally good looking. I remember how Vibha and I were literally gaping at him where we were watching him dance to "apni to jaise taise" in housefull. And he has pretty much learnt to act. I mean they dont really give out national awards to non actors. He may not be an Amir Khan but he is improving and thats what I really like about him.

10) Leoonardo Di Caprio: Good looking, super awesome actor and an amazing body of work. Pick up Titanic or Catch me if you can or Shutter Island or Inception or whatever, he is an amazing actor! You just cannot help but be a fan of Leonardo Di Caprio!

Thats my list. And BTW while I was compiling it, there was a 11th name. Technically, I dont know his name. Mr. Fresh. Yup!! My un-named Hyderabad crush! The absolutely super good looking tall hunk!

Suggest me more add-ons. There can be a part two as well! :)