No open letters .. Humanity rocks!!!

So the latest trend is the the recent blog by Shahana (absolutely wonderful name by the way) bashing delhi guys. The lady went a little over the top in being rude, included moms dads, religious sentiments, partition history and over all managed to bring upon herself a lot of appreciation as well as criticism. People on her site have started a virtual war about the great north Indian and south Indian divide. As if we do not have enough divides to think about -- Men/Women, Hindu/Muslim, Gay/Straight, India/Pakistan -- Do we really need more classifications really? I mean we have to give Shahana a little benefit of doubt. She must have actually been through a lot to have written something so harsh on a public platform. Yes, if you make your blog public, then it no longer remains just an "Online Diary" and you cannot say "My Blog! I will write what I want to!" . You cannot rant about an entire community, just because you met a few jerks. Anyway, I am not writing this on her site because she is already being bashed by some 2k odd people, some even calling her names. Well! Thats easy for people -- oh its a girl! We can always call her dirty names, target her character just because she pissed us off, and get away with it! Sad I have to say (A classic example of the gender divide).
Coming back to the classifications, will we ever stop dividing our own selves? Seriously! When will we just start considering ourselves as individuals? Just people with good heart and sentiments? Why north Indian and South Indians?? Why not just Indians???? I am from Bhopal. What shall I call myself? Central Indian?? I have lived in both the north and south part of the country. I am friends with Delhi-ites,north indians, south indians and all!
In Bangalore and even in my 10 month stint in hyderabad, I have come across some amazing "South Indians"... and seriously,they are my friends only because they are WONDERFUL people and I love them and not because they come from a particular region of the country! North, south, central,north east does not matter. Hindu, Muslim, Christian does not matter. Gay/Straight does not matter. At the end, only being a nice human being matters. I would want to give a reference of "My Name is Khan" here. I loved it when Zarina Wahab makes 2 stick figure and explains a young SRK, there are only 2 kinds of people in this world. Good and Bad. Trust me this is the only thing I an going to teach my children.

Love rules!! May there be lots of love in this world!!

Aur Batao!!

This is what two absolutely bored people ask each other when they have nothing else to do with their lives.Recently , while talking to a friend, he told me how irritating he finds these two words and how he prefers to close the conversation when the other party says "Aur Batao". Now I have always been the “talkative one”. Rest assured, if you are a quite person and its just me and you who are out, chances are that you may not have to worry about how the conversation is going to be. You see, the problem is that when some ones tells me to “aur batao”, somehow I feel a heavy responsibility on my shoulders to steer the conversation. So, there have been times when people have told me to “aur batao” and then they never got a chance to utter another word. There was this one incident when Nikhil passed my desk and casually told me, “Aur Varsha! Kya chal raha hai” There was no conversation after that. Because conversation is when 2 people talk. When just one person talks, its called monologue. And that’s what happened after the question Nikhil posed me. There was an endless monologue by yours truly ofcourse! And the poor guy could just at the end give a finishing line … “Chalo, see you around!” Then there was another poor friend yesterday who had difficulty in fitting his lines “Varsha, I have started to drive. Can we talk tomorrow” between my blabber.

My mom once asked me a very profound, deep question. Something which worries her a lot. “Beta, Don’t you EVER get tired of talking??? “ And I had a bright NO for an answer. You see!! I never get tired of talking. Probably the very reason that I came back home with notes in my diary, “Varsha Tiwari disturbs her fellow students!!” So I ALWAYS have an answer for all the “Aur Bataosss”. But you know what has been my torturous best? When I tell people to "Aur Batao" and without a pause I start "Aur Batao"-ing them. Poor Prabhjot is the BIGGEST victim of that!! Sometimes, I have so much to say, that I start interrupting people. I know! An extremely bad habit. Something which I HAVE to change. But its like the words refuse to stay inside my mouth. So much so that, they come out even when I am sleeping. There you have it people! My biggest secret .. Yes .. I talk in my sleep!!! My poor roommates! All of them have a story of how they discovered I sleep talk. So Neha tells me, I was scared and surprised and Ambika tells me, “I thought you were talking to someone on phone and I was surprised only to realize you were sleep talking!”

But then, with so much to say, I would wish God the same thing which Rajesh Khanna wished in Anand, “Bohot boloon, Par acha boloon. Kabhi kisi ke liye kuch bura na nikle mere mooh se” Very saint-ly I know. But its better than hurting people and getting in trouble.

May there be lots of love in this world!!

Some useless facts about me (Part 1)

Well!! At the end of the day, it is my blog. I am allowed to be a little narcissistic here. I know nobody wants this information but as i always say, there is nothing wrong in talking about oneself sometimes. Needless to say, the most commonly used word here would be "I". So here goes under no specific subject :)

1) I am dead scared of crossing roads.
2) I am extremely scared of dogs. Especially barking, running dogs.
3) I am at my best mood when I am surrounded by books. I can loose myself in books without the slightest track of time. That is why these days Oxford book store at Leela's is my favourite place.
4) I love to hug people :)
5) I would still prefer to read a fairy tale over a proper novel.
6) I think summers are better than winters. I hate it when I feel cold.
7) I feel bad if I say bad about anybody. But if it is someone I hate, I feel a kind of relief when I or someone else says bad about them.
8) I have no ambition to climb up the career ladder just to get into a higher position. I want a super good job so that I can use the money to travel around the world.
9) I wish I could travel back in time. Had it been an option I would want to see Delhi before independence.
10) After reading "Many masters, Many lives" I am extremely curious to know who I was in my previous birth and how many of the good people I know today were related/connected to me in the past lives.
11) Although I believe that no one is completely good or completely bad, there are 3 people in this world I regard as "real bad". All the 3 are girls. (No names :) )
12) I unfortunately believe I have become too selfish and too practical to get into a relationship.
13) I am allergic to ayurveda medicines.
14) I totally love (almost) all my friends :)But sometimes I want them to leave me alone.
15) I hate slapstick comedies. I love situational comedies. I have laughed the hardest watching Andaaz apna apna, Sarabhai vs Sarabhai and most surprisingly aloo chat.
16) I believe in staying happy and positive and surrounding myself with the same kind of people. "The Secret" by Rhonda Bryne has a lot to do with changing my thinking.
17) I love babies eyes.They are bright and shine with hope and excitement.
18) I will keep coming with more such posts!! :)

Dear moms and dads of India

Dear moms and dads of different castes around India,

I have a real genuine concern and I speak for, well, most of the children around the world. We love you and we are always thankful to you for being there for us. At every point of our lives. Its because of you that our lives have always been so simple. But then, there is one aspect of our lives, which you make a little difficult. That is when your children fall in love with someone other than their caste. Somehow, you guys donot agree to a match of your son/daughter in a different caste irrespective of how good the girl/boy is. Dear Parents, we understand that you are concerned for us and you truly believe that your sons/daughters are the best but they have made the wrong decision. Here, I would ask you to put a little faith on us. You will have to understand that we encounter a lot of jerks in our daily lives and we can differentiate between a jerk from a non jerk. Just because that person is from a different caste does not make him a bad match for us.

You prefer us to marry in our own caste mainly because of 2 reasons (or so I understand) First, It would be easy to adjust because the customs are known ( This mainly goes for the girls) and second because it would help you keep your head up in the soceity/samaj. Now if you actually think about it, adjusting in a new family is anyway difficult for a girl. It would be really good if you would believe in us and help us settle in the new culture. Yes we will need you. At every step of our lives. Please don't disown your children just because they want to marry in a family which does not follow same tradition as yours. At the end of the day every culture's family is the same .. bounded by love and harmony.
When you talk about "an uncha sar" in the "samaj",I would like to ask you why would you really care about "gossip Mongers?" Don't they have a life to live after all the hullabaloo has quietened? After everything is said and done, it is just the family that stands as a single unit. The "Samaj" would always want something to talk about and they will! Please don't ask us to leave a perfectly wonderful guy/girl because pados ke babloo ki bua would gossip!
Please understand that same caste is not a guarantee for 2 people to be happy. A loving and caring partner definitely is! A good understanding, friendship and compatibility is more important between two people to be happy and not the same cultural backgrounds. If your children happen to find a partner for themselves, be glad and please don't threaten to kill yourselves or us for that matter!! If you do not like their choice please sit across the table and give them logical reason as to why! If the guy does not earn well or drinks uncontrollably or is a natural flirt , you can explain this to your child. If the girl seems wrong in her character, explain it to your child. But a wonderful, talented , self-dependant girl or a decent, good earning nice guy is rejected just because one is a surname A and other is a surname Z , is very unfortunate.

I wish some parent reads this. I wish someone AT LEAST thinks about changing their thinking. I wish no couple breaks up , not because they don't want to be together, but because no one else wants them to be together.

May there be lots of love in this world!!!!

26 things learnt by the age of 26

Here is a list of 26 life lessons I have learned thus far at the age of 26. I pass this list on to you with the simple hope that it makes you think. Sometimes thinking about your life and sorting out what you have learned is just as important as tackling a new venture.

Being an adult can be fun when you are acting like a child.
Love has nothing to do with looks, but everything to do with time, trust, and interest.
Laughing, crying, joy and anger… All are a vital. All make us human.
The greatest truths in life are uncovered with simple, steady awareness.
Greed will bury even the lucky eventually.
Bad things do happen to good people.
Paving your own road is intelligent only if nobody has gone exactly where you are going.
Uncertainty is caused by a lack of knowledge. Hesitation is the product of fear.
Time heals all wounds… regardless of how you feel right now.
Most of the time what you are looking for is right in front of you.
Your health is your life.
Chance is a gift, so act on chance when given the opportunity.
Kindness and hard work will take you further than intelligence.
People deserve a second chance, but not a third.
Marry your best friend.
Take lots of pictures. Someday you’ll be really glad you did.
Money makes life easier only when the money is yours free and clear.
Carelessness is the root of failure
Your actions now create memories you will reminisce and talk about in your elder years.
Stepping outside of your comfort zone will put things into perspective from an angle you can’t grasp now.
Motivation comes in short bursts. Act while it’s hot.
Purposely ignoring the obvious is like walking backwards toward the enemy.
Taking ownership of failure builds the foundation for success.
First impressions are completely worthless 50% of the time.
Personal glory lasts forever.
If you never act, you will never know for sure.

Not Original. (Source -- http://www.marcandangel.com/2008/02/06/26-life-lessons-learned-by-age-26)

Inside a trekker's mind

A recent foray into a trekking trip has given me full privilege to call myself a trekker. Trust me it is not something which I would die for. So why did I ever sign for it? Because I am a sucker for new experiences. I am not adventurous. I just love to meet new people. I love to look forward to a situation and say, "Now what does this have in store for me?" and most importantly I start getting this weird feeling if I stay inside my house for more than certain hours and hence this trip. Once again, like the Jim Corbett trip, I did not anticipate anything much about how everything is going to be. Atleast , the experiences we had, they were far far beyond my anticipations. So trekking requires you to walk .... a lot!! and when you walk, you think .... a lot! So here are a few things that went inside my mind at many different instances when I started walking/trekking :

1) So when you start walking, you are all full of energy and zest. You give pep talk to scared people around. You never let others know that when the co-ordinator said, "Today we will trek for some 20 kms" the voice inside your head went, "Oh shit! How the hel will I do that?"

2) Anyway, the trek starts. You are doing pretty okay. The one constant thought in your mind is, "Pls Dont get weak in front of soo many people!" You can walk, you can walk. Be strong." Pep talking to your self and enjoying the breath taking beautiful scenery around, you soon realize you have covered quite a decent distance. The peak is still far but so is the starting point.

3) Then comes a point when although you have covered a considerable distance, the peak still refuses to come. All the walking makes you super hungry. All you can think about is food! What will these people give us to eat? What would have mom cooked today? What do I really feel like eating right now??? Still the peak has not come. Now you are so hungry that you are no more hungry.

4) You reach the peak of the trip. Explore a super fantastically mysterious cave. You see bats and think about vampires and the days when you sat cosily inside your room and watched the Salavtore brothers in The Vampire Diaries. Oh and by the way you also think about how cool it would sound when you narrate your friends back in office that you semi-explored a cave!

5) Then comes the time to start walking down. Even the ending point teases you by being far far away. Then you have this weird feeling of walking on a tread mill which just cannot stop and there is no emergency stop button. You walk and walk and walk. You become slow and wonder if the guy behind you is getting irritated by your slow speed.You say a "Sorry dude, I cant help being slow" in your head and keep walking.'

6) The first trek ends and there is food. It looks like a reward. It makes you understand the value of food. It does not matter that the food is white rice, that it comes under the food group of fast carbs and that you should be limiting its intake. You just EAT!

7) After you eat and just set your bums on a seat in order to relax, the co-ordinator calls you for the next set of trek. 8 kms he says. Achivable your head says. Although you are bloddy tempted to skip it as some of the others, you still dont want to miss out on the experience and you say, "What the hel! Lets do it"

8) The second trek is rock climbing till a decent distance. You are almost on the verge of asking someone to drop you back. But then you tell yourself, Finish it now that you have started it. There are big rocks, its cold, its slippery. You are doing your best and then --- you have your first big fall. Embarrassingly in the clear line of vision for everyone. You get up as quickly as you fell and then you see that had you fell a little inclined, you would have been having a one too one with the ultimate manager -- God! You dont stop. Because you know that if you do, it would be difficult to start.

9) You are dead tired. You feel weak and then you command your legs to be on auto pilot. You command your brain not to feel anything. Its windy and bloddy cold. After some point you stop acting brave. But then you find the peak and suddenly you actually feel proud of yourself.

Over the other days, several other thoughts cross your mind.You thank God for the experience.For the lovely time. For the games and laughter and non stop chit chatting around the camp fire. For the new friends. But one thought that never crosses your mind is regret. You never regret the decision of going to an amazingly beautiful place. At the end of it all, you only cherish the memories! :)

Dont be the best ...

There is a fight out there ... to be the best. In everything! Best student, best employee, best friend, best mother, best teacher --- Mediocricity is not the name of the game. Thats what my MBA instructor used to tell me. Everbody seems to be running towards the "Best Someone" trophy. A few grab it and rest are left behind. How much of life do we really experience in this race? A little breather may not really kill anyone. I was and maybe still a part of that race. But I am okay if I am not the best. I have mentioned this before. I wanted to come first in my class in school. I wanted to be a topper in college. Today, all of us are leading the same lives. I am doing pretty well for myself and seriously it probably does not matter that i never came first. Yes maybe if I had been an IIT or/and IIM passout, I may be drawing a bigger salary. But still I would have been going to the same 9-6 job, would have still waited for the weekends and cribbed on sunday evenings. I would have still worried about my taxes, complained about my manager, hung around with friends and longed to go home.

It is okay if you are not the best. People make mistakes. The topper was the topper because she made made lesser mistakes in her answer sheets than anybody else in the class. But you really dont learn anything if everything goes smoothly in life. What matters is that you give your best. What is really important that at the end of the day when you go to bed and analyse your day, you should not regret and say, "I didnt do that work properly because i felt lousy doing it!"

Take a chill pill! There is probably not much of a difference between the "best" and you.