Why do I write

I write because I am lucky enough to convert my incoherent ramblings into coherent words.
Because sometimes sentences just pop in my head and keep echoing unless i put them down.
Because it helps me to think clearly.
Because it helps me to move on.
Because I always have so much to talk about and often there is no one to listen.
Because somethings are better written than said.
Because its good to keep a record of your thoughts since you can always go back to them and reflect if you have grown as a person or not (too philosophical?)
Because it helps me to keep elaborate memories.
Because maybe if i keep writing regularly, I'll actually start writing the way I want to. Filhaal, I am not even close.
And finally I write because I will burst with trapped thoughts if i don't :)

The Crush

I am time and again reminded of Hyderabad. Having changed 3 cities since the starting of my career, I have come to realize one thing. It is not a city which helps you create memories. It is always the people who help you do it. Every city at the end of the day has some cool hang out and even if it is not a cool hang out place as such, friends and laughter make it cool anyway. But then I have one super special memory of Hyderabad. I have mentioned it in my earlier blog also. Mr. Fresh. The BIGGEESSTTT crush I ever had. I never came to know his name and he was hands down the handsomest guy I had seen. I remember the way my stomach would do a flip every time I would see him.
And thats what I miss the most now. The teenage crush on somebody absolutely unachievable. Infact it is that "distance" which makes it all the more fun. I may not have wanted to make friends with Mr. Fresh but I would be so happy just seeing him .And ofcourse then there are your friends who share the same idiotic happiness as you. They'll help you spot him and do all that they can to attract attention, sometimes embarrassing things too, when you flinch outwardly, but inside you are smiling too!
Even in Noida, Isha had a crush on this guy. Atleast we were successful in finding out his name. Though the crush died its natural death but we still had those silly giggles and stupid fun. Ok he was Isha's crush, but i still remember how excited all the other four of us would become whenever we would spot him. That excitement, that turning back and stealing a glance and laughing all silly ... if nothing else they definitely give you great memories to look back and smile on.
I could not find anyone worth having a crush on in Bangalore. (although I do keep my eyes open ;) ) I know somebody can say that I have passed the age of being oh-so-girlish. Well, truly speaking I used to feel the same. But on second thoughts whats harm in acting little childish and feeling happy just looking at a person?
This by the way is more of a single thing, just one more of the advantages of being single!

Hollywood high!

India makes the largest number of films in a year. More than the movies made by the rest of the world put together. We have quantity! But we lack big time in quality. I love the indian film industry and thats why I prefer to call it that. The indian film industry. Not Bollywodd which is a rip off of Hollywood and ofcourse we have the telugu/Tamil film industry -- Tollywood and if i am not wrong there even is a kollywood. Well the word bollywood may have found a place in the oxford dictionary, but it still has to find a place in the world film industry. On the brighter side, (some)hindi movies made today are really good .Thanks to intelligent film makers/actors like Amir khan that we do have sensible movies to boast of here in India.
But there is one thing which I really really wish for. I wish we had variety like that in hollywood. People there make movies out of concepts from which indian film makers are far away from. Movies like Prestige, Shutter Island, Inception or constatine (which was the original inspiration of writing this blog) have ideas which can only make a viewer go wow. I dont deny that we donot have good filmmakers or good actors for that matter, but we do have a big time dearth of ideas.
Here, I would also have to take some onus on me as a movie goer. Somehow, audiences have never been able to accept "anything different" from the hindi movies. We still flock theatres for a Karan Johar/Yash Chopra movie. The entire hindi film industry is thriving on a single emotion. No prizes for guessing that --- Love! I wish story tellers dare to think a little out of the box and the film makers dare to make them.
India started by making brilliant films with amzing talents like Satyajit Ray, Raj Kapoor and Hrishikesh Mukherjee. I can still sit and watch Anari, Anand or chupke chupke. But we still stood our ground on love, love songs, realtionships, family, etc etc. Also there have been sheer rip offs of hollywood movies. Rip offs so bad, they make you flinch. For example there was a movie called "The Dragonfly" They made a hindi movie out of it called "saaya". They not only took the whole story, they also took the dialouges! How unimaginative can you be in a profession that requires you to be creative and imaginitive! Then there was Shukriya which was badly taken from Joe Black or even a hindi movie starring Randeep Hooda and Shahana Goswami which was an awful take away from the beautiful "If Only". Even when they buy the rights and make "We are family" out of Step Mom you still want to hide away and wish you had not wasted your 300 bucks on coming to watch a desperate attempt to be at par.
I still have my hopes high on the indiam Film Industry. Because for every stupid movie, they still give me a Rang De Basanti and a fashion. But we still have a long way to go to make an Inception or Invictus!

The 100th ...

This is my 100th post!!! So firstly congratulations to me!!! :) :)

And now to my thoughts ....
However confused I may be over the topic of marriage, I am certain about one thing. There is an excitement of starting a new life from the scratch. Lots of my friends have been married of-late and somehow, I always seem to share their excitement of searching a new house, settling down, buying the basics, new curtains, beds, bedsheets ... somehow its very refreshing. Tiring indeed ... but it fills you with a feeling of hope and happiness.
Its the fun of decorating a new house, calling it home, making your own comfort zone and sharing your life with somebody you really want to. But thats where the real complication starts. This setting up a new house can be fun only when two people come together because they wanted to and not because their parents and "society" wanted them to .
Actually more than the marriage thing, its more of decorating the house, shopping for new, stylish interiors which makes it so tempting. I remember wanting my own room in Bangalore just so that I could decorate it all according to my choice( had thought of giving it a blue theme) That unfortunately could not happen, but well, I'll still wait for the time when I get to convert a house into home, decorate it with beautiful paintings and props. That ...then would be my home :)

Why does this not happen to me?

1) I see a girl on TV use a shampoo and come out with beautiful shining, smooth, straight hair and I ask myself .. why does this not happen with me! Heck .. I have to use the costliest shampoo to keep my hair 1% of the lustrous hair they have!
2) Someone uses a face wash and becomes all glowing and beautiful and the world starts noticing her. I am not noticed even if I get a facial done!!!
3) A handsome guy walks past me and the wind blows and both of us look at each other and there is music in the background or everything slows down (like in DDLJ when Raj and Simran cross paths). Why does this not happen to me??
4) Using Lux/Vivel makes my skin glow big time and I am walking down in evening gowns with people staring agog! *sone se bhi sona lage!!!*
5) I use a deodorant and become a star at a presentation (Come on!!! Advertising ppl have to be a little more practical)
6) Oh yes! I am laughing all girly-silly in public and there is someone watching me and falling in love with me ... again with a background sound please *ek ladki ko dekha to aisa laga*
7) My friends plan to go for a euro trip and i am invited and i find all the time and money in the world to roam around and shop! (DDLJ again ... What did Simran and Raj do again??? Oh yes ...one was son of an uneducated billionaire dad and the other was a homely daughter doing nothing other than writing romantic musings! Ofcourse they had all the time and money in the world! )
8) I say something motivational in background (which is muted in background music ofcourse!!) and everone is clapping and nodding their head in affirmation saying ...she is the bestest!! ;)
9) and finally why dont have the answers to all the questions and solution to all problems!!!!

For the guys ....

This is not original but I loved it and I had to post it here ...

-When she stares at your mouth kiss her
-When she ignores you give her your attention
-When she pulls away pull her back
-When you see her at her worst tell her she's beautiful
-When you see her start crying just hold her and don't say a word
-When you see her walking sneak up and hug her waist from behind
-When she's scared protect her
-When she steals your favorite hoodie Let her keep it and sleep with it
-When she teases you Tease her back and make her laugh
-When she doesn't answer for a long time Reassure her that everything is okay
-When she looks at you with doubt Back yourself up
-When she says that she loves you She really does, more than you can understand
-When she grabs at your hands Hold her's and play with her fingers
-When she bumps into you Bump into her back and make her laugh
-When she tells you a secret Keep it safe and untold
-When she looks at you in your eyes Dont look away until she does
-When she tells you she truely loves you tell her you love her more!!
-When she reposts this bulletin She wants you to read it
- Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything
- When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go
- When she says she's ok don't believe it, talk with her because 10 yrs later she'll remember you.
- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her
-Treat her like she's all that matters to you
- Stay up all night with her when she's sick
- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think it's stupid.
- Give her the world.
- Let her wear your clothes
-When she's bored and sad, hang out with her
-Let her know she's important.
- Don't talk about other girls around her
- Kiss her in the pouring rain
- When she runs up to you crying, the first thing you say is:
"Whose ass am I kicking babe"

Invictus by William Earnest Henley -- Beautiful Words

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.